When I was recently thinking about how to heal a difficult karmic relationship, I wondered what the easiest way to do it is. That got me thinking, researching and reflecting, and this is what I came up.
So how do you heal karmic relationships? These are the 3 best ways for healing according to my research and experience.
- Personally saying sorry and taking ownership
- Asking for forgiveness in your heart, but only if you truly feel sorry
- Stop thinking bad things about the other person (this is the easiest and at the same time the hardest one but I’ll explain more in detail below)
Different Types Of Karmic Relationships
Karmic relationships are not just limited to romantic relationships. Actually the biggest karmic relationships in your life are in your family. You have a long history of karma with your mother, father, sisters, brothers, your kids, and also your extended family.
You can also have karmic relationships with your classmates, with your boss and coworkers (watch my video on dealing with bullies at work), with friends of the same sex or opposite sex, people in your spiritual or religious community, and even with your neighbours.
Difficulties in Karmic Relationships
Every relationship has its ups and downs and this is especially true in the case of karmic relationships. If you are having a really difficult time with someone and you find that you keep hurting each other in a specific relationship, whether it is with your romantic partner, or whether it is with a friend, you can bet that you have some heavy karma from a past life (or even from earlier on in this life).
The good news is that you can heal this karma and heal your relationship. Even if you think that the relationship is not healed because you couldn’t go “back to the way it used to be” with someone, you can trust that healing occurred.
Often YOU will be the one who is healed from doing the work to heal a karmic relationship. That means even if on the surface you can’t go back to the way it used to be, you will be at peace with how the relationship has changed.
So, now let’s get into how to actually do the work to heal your karmic relationships.
Personally saying sorry and taking ownership to heal a karmic relationship
In order to make progress in healing any relationship, you have to first take ownership of the part you played in the whole thing going “wrong”.
That means if it’s a friendship that has gone bitter where you just don’t understand each other anymore, own up to the fact that you both have changed since the early days of your friendship. It’s not only your friend who is different and unrelatable now. Acknowledge that you have also grown and changed and that means that you have also grown apart in equal proportion.
If it’s a romantic relationship where it feels like you have drifted apart from your partner and you make each other feel miserable now, take ownership of how you have grown and changed as well and how are also acting in ways that your partner had not expected.
Once you realize that you also played a part, build up the courage to say sorry. Here’s a post about how to say sorry to a friend and you can read this post where I talk about saying sorry in a romantic relationship.
Saying sorry is not easy but it is the fastest way to break the ice, dissolve resentment, and progress healing in a karmic relationship.
Asking for forgiveness in your heart when you truly feel sorry
When saying sorry in person is just not possible because you aren’t able to contact the other person in the karmic relationship, then you can ask for forgiveness in your heart.
As I mentioned in a previous post, the key to this method is to truly and honestly feel sorry in your heart and to feel the remorse of having hurt another person.
When you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes and feel what they might have felt while you were having a fight, then you will be able to ask for forgiveness in your heart.
Here’s how you can ask for forgiveness in your heart. First step: Meditate. If you need a bit of help getting into a deep meditation, check out my free 5 day meditation course here. After your meditation, take a moment to visualize yourself in front of the other person, and then tell them you are sorry. That’s it; it’s that simple. It’s very similar to this scene in Eat, Pray, Love, and the effect is just as real. Real healing can happen when you ask for forgiveness in your heart.
Stop thinking bad things about the other person
This is the easiest and at the same time the hardest way for healing karmic relationships. The easiest because all you have to do is stop thinking bad things about the other person and stop wishing them unwell. At the same time, it is the hardest because it’s not so easy to control your thoughts and to control your mind.
My Guru Paramahamsa Vishwananda explains this very well. The power of the mind is huge. Scary huge, as he says in the video below.
But how do you control your thoughts? Well, again, meditation is a great tool and it has helped me the most in my personal healing journey. You can read all my posts on meditation here.
There’s an even more effortless way to stop thinking negative thoughts about someone you’re in a karmic relationship with. The trick is to focus on their positive qualities as well.
Focus on the positive qualities about the other person without being snarky and without secretly hating on them for being good at some things. Everyone has good and bad in them. You are not an exception and neither is the other person in your karmic relationship. So, focus on their positive qualities and acknowledge and if possible, try to admire them for it.
Controlling your thoughts and just stopping yourself before you think something negative about the other person in the relationship that you want to heal will have an instant effect on your karma.
Remember, there are two people in this relationship, so stop thinking negative things about YOURSELF as well. Beating yourself up and reminding yourself of all the things you did wrong is not going to heal anything.
Here are a few things that will help you to heal a karmic relationship.
- My post on Karma from breaking someone’s heart
- My free 5 day meditation course to get you started with meditation
- My free Happiness Meditation
- This book on Karma will help you understand more about your karmic past and heal your present: Karmic Diagnostics
- This playlist on talks about Karma by my Master Paramahamsa Vishwananda