How to deal with friends you don’t like anymore


You have to deal with a friend you don’t like anymore. Don’t worry, it happens to most people. It’s natural that as you grow and evolve, you will drift apart from some friends and make new friends who are different.

Does this sound familiar? You have someone in your life who used to be a good friend but then something happened, something is off now and it doesn’t feel the same. It could simply be because the karma between they two of you is over.

But you are trying to still hang out and are polite with each other. Well, here is why you shouldn’t pretend to like each other when deep inside, you both know that you don’t like each other.

Don’t waste any more time on this “friendship”! Want to know why?

Here are 3 ways to deal with a friend you don’t like anymore

You are both feeling awkward towards each other so it’s better not to pretend.

Look, there is a good chance that your friend is feeling awkward about this too, just as much as you. Even though you both are pretending you want to meet up and catch up, you both are really not up for it. If you are feeling it, she is too. So save both of yourselves the awkwardness.

Your friend might be bad-mouthing you behind your back.

She is probably saying bad things about you to other people behind your back. Why would you want to hang out with someone like that? You are probably also being fake by being all smiley and cordial and polite. Stop it. Being fake is not a good thing. It’s not a good look. Don’t do it.

Trust your gut feeling about your friend.

If you are feeling weird, just don’t go ahead with your plans to meet up with a friend you don’t like anymore. LISTEN to that FEELING in your GUT that is like, “Eew, I really don’t want to see her but I feel like I have to.”

NO. you don’t have to do anything.

Tell her that you can’t see her. Make up an excuse if you have to. She will understand, and you both will be better for it.

Want to know How To BreakUp With A Friend? Watch the video on this post.

Now a question for you: Do you have a friend who you’re not totally sure if you want to see again but because of politeness you kind of are going along with it? If yes, then put it in the comment below why you feel you have to see her.

Once you write it out, it will help you to decide actually whether you want or need to see her or not.

How to deal with a friend you don't like anymore.

Ritu

Ritu is an Atma Kriya Yoga and meditation teacher. A long time blogger and writer, she writes about personal development, spirituality, and meditation.

14 thoughts on “How to deal with friends you don’t like anymore

  1. I feel like we are growing apart but she is very emotional so I don’t know how to tell her I don’t like her

    1. If you are growing apart, then let the distance grow even more. stop hanging out as much and eventually, you will be in each other’s lives even less . maybe you won’t even have to tell her that you don’t like her anymore and she’ll just get the message.

  2. Last year, I had this friend at work that I felt so much connection with. It’s like if someone “sees” me, I tend to like that person a lot. She was like that. We then viber each other, share inspiring thoughts, and then after several meetings I was feeling so much more connection and I don’t know why but I felt scared somewhere while I learned more about her. Maybe one reason is that I felt insecure around her. She’s intelligent and she’s got high position at work while I’m just a simple staff. But I told myself they don’t matter to me because she’s still a human being like me inspite all of her achievements. Then I though if she only just made me feel that I matter to her….After about a year of friendship, I asked her again and again we see each other but she was always busy. She also once said that she missed me which I felt guilty about because I was the one missing her and I regretted not telling her first. And I thought why would she say she missed me but wouldn’t hang out with me? Ang then came my christmas, new year and my birthday. She surprised me with gifts in all those occasions but I still felt something is missing because she still wouldn’t ask me out. One last time, I asked her to hang again but still failed. Then came Covid19, I don’t know if we can ever see each other again. So I unfollowed her social media account. I felt like I was rejected. And I don’t like that feeling. What can you say to me Ritu? Am I right in my decision to just disconnect from this person I thought my friend so that I would just stay at peace again? Do you get what I’m talking about?? I just want to get this out, I think.. Hope to hear from you. Maybe others are experiencing the same…?? xoxo

    1. Dear Jen, thanks SO much for sharing this. I’m the same as you. if someone “sees” me, I immediately fall for that person and want to be close, as friends or more than friends. This happened to me with girls and guys and the biggest one was with someone in my dorm back in University, like 10 years ago. Anyway, I think you might be missing an opportunity by disconnecting from this person. It could be that her feelings are mixed and there’s a push and pull happening in her mind. Or she is genuinely a super busy – but that’s not an excuse actually. She can always make room in her life for you. If it bothers you and if you feel like she is secretly disrespecting you, then 100% drop her from your life. But if you want to give her benefit of the doubt, then try at least 2-3 more times to make plans. Try spontaneously to make plans together. If after 3 more tries it doesn’t work, then the message is clear.

  3. I’ve had a group of friends who I’ve known since the start of highschool. I used to get along with them well before, but ever since I turned older, and life got more real, I feel like they’re not really my friends anymore. It’s as if I’ve moved on from them when they’re still acting like we did when we were 13. Not that it’s all them, I’m really bad at sharing stuff with them about what’s been going on with me, but even then I feel like I can’t share it with them because they come across as what I feel far more childish than me. I’ve been kind of an introvert for my past few years though, and life hasn’t always been easy. I’ve made some friends online during my time in high school too, and those few selected people I still talk to feel more like friends than of my friends group. I’m not sure if I should be breaking up with that group entirely since it’s the only irl contact I’d have besides my sister (whom I share a lot with). I could always wait for next year when I’ll be attending uni and see how that turns out, but I’m not sure how to act to them in the meantime, and maybe I’m just too used to online contact that the other friends that I could make, would make me feel the same way.

    I know this message is all over the place, but once I started typing it was like my mind started questioning so many things.

    -Daniel (21)

    1. Hi Daniel, don’t give up on them just yet and don’t officially break up. You can see them less. That’s a nice way to let the relationship fade out. And you’ll definitely make friends in Uni.

  4. My friend is going through a divorce, so I feel obligated to stay in contact with her, check in on her, and visit her. She’s a nice and good person, but I don’t like her. She is very dependent and weak; whereas, I am the very opposite. She is also oblivious to anyone’s personal time. I don’t want to say she’s disrespectful of people’s time because I doubt she even thinks about it. She’s always late by 30 minutes to several hours and takes 5 to 10 minutes to get out of the car after arriving someplace because she has to get her stuff and herself ready. This happens even when she’s the passenger. She acts like a leaf in the wind, being blown and by her soon-to-be ex-husband. She has no backbone, and I hate that about her.

    1. Hi Melissa, I feel you because I also have a similar friend. There are people who you want to like but because of their character or certain choices that they’re making you just can’t respect them anymore. Once you learn some thing about them that makes you not respect them anymore, you can’t really go back unless they make a big change in themselves. I understand that you feel sorry for her, but continuing to be her friend and being there for her in a fake way, you’re not really helping her at all. You’re actually perpetuating her helplessness and her dependency. Whereas if you were true and honest with yourself and with her, can you cut her off for example or stop giving her so much support, she will be forced to learn to stand on her feet. If you keep tolerating her lateness then she’ll just continue being late. But if you don’t tolerate it anymore she’ll realize she hast to make a change or she’ll lose people in her life like her ex and her friend , you. So by being fake and not respecting your instincts to stop supporting her even though she is going through a divorce, you’re actually helping her in the long run to be strong and to become a respectable person.

    2. I have a very similar friend who is going through a divorce and feel this way too! I kept making myself feel awful for these feelings. Helpful to hear someone else have a similar reaction.

      1. Hi Amanda, as I mentioned in the other comment, by being honest and “harsh”, you are actually helping your friend get stronger. So don’t force yourself to be nice if it just doesn’t feel right. Avoid the friend. Keep a distance. Let yourself be authentic.

  5. We’re a group of five and we’re almost family but i just can’t get along with one person no matter how much i try…and now i just can’t pretend anymore but i just can’tt lose my bestt friendss

  6. Hello,
    My name is Sara.
    Thanks for writing this article. I have a friend who I used to visit all the time at her place of work. Over time, I’ve visited here less and less for personal reasons. One day I decided to see if it was worth investing in the friendship by inviting her and her partner over to my place. She told me that it was too far from her house and that shed need A ride to my home since they owned a moped and not a car, making it hard to drive around. I felt disappointed when she said it was too far, since it seemed like she was complaining. She asked me for a ride and it made me feel like she wasn’t happy I had just found a new place and I felt like she wasn’t making an effort. I’m actually not too happy about her friendship because it feels like I have to take care of her in a way instead of feeling like she’s there for me too. I basically second guess myself and feel bad letting the friendship go because she works in an area I like and I pass by to say hello and be nice since they’re a happy person and she’s kind but I just don’t want to hang out anymore the way we would back then

    1. Hi Sara, I have the exact same situation so I can tell you what I did. Your friend is using you. I also had a work friend to who I was giving and giving to but she never gave back to me. She messaged me every day to complain about her current job and never once asked me how I was doing, meanwhile she knew that I was having health issues. She never bothered to ask about me. The thing is I was so ADDICTED to receiving her messages every day and chatting with her every day, I put up with it. Eventually, another friend of mine told me what was going on. She was clearly using me. It was a one-sided friendship. When she finally stopped texting, I just didn’t bother to reach out and re-establish the connection. QUESTION FOR YOU: Are you keeping your friendship alive because you’re addicted to the communication? If yes, then do your best to slowly stop talking to her. If she doesn’t make the effort to come to you now, she never will.

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