Why Are Karmic Relationships So Painful?


When I look back at all the relationships I’ve mentioned in my Karma & Relationships series on this blog, there’s a clear pattern. All of them are in one way or another extremely painful experiences. This made me wonder, are all Karmic relationships so painful?

Luckily, the answer to this question is optimistic.

Most Karmic relationships are painful because they make us learn difficult Karmic lessons. These lessons are necessary for us to progress in spirituality. Karmic relationships also contain periods of extreme joy and happiness which should be enjoyed and appreciated. When it has served its purpose, it is recommended to end the Karmic relationship and move on.

Yes, learning difficult Karmic lessons can be very painful and can take years to heal from but Karmic relationships can also be beautiful and harmonious relationships that last for a lifetime. I have personal experience with both of these types of relationships which I’ll share below as well as with unrequited one-sided love and Karma with cheaters. So, keep reading.

Are Karmic Relationships One-Sided?

Karmic relationships are usually two-sided partnerships. The individual Karma of both people has brought them together in this lifetime. There is something they have to teach each other and that’s why they have come together. One person might love the other much more, but Karmically, the other person is just as involved. Even when one person does not return the love to the same degree, they are balancing their Karmic debt towards the other person.

Let’s talk about unrequited love though. One of my best friends from high school, let’s call her Gita, had a massive crush on a guy from her class. He was aware of it but he acted oblivious to it and didn’t give her that kind of attention at all. I remember that Gita was so in love with him for more than a year and it made me angry that he didn’t acknowledge it and didn’t reciprocate.

What was the Karmic situation in this?

I think that it was my friend Gita’s Karma to be in love with this guy and experience what unrequited love feels like, with all its pain and rejection. It’s possible that in a past life she had rejected him in the same way so, in this lifetime, she had to experience rejection as well. It is also likely that she had to learn how it feels to be rejected so that she would value when a guy came along who would actually give her the love and attention she deserves. These are the two Karmic lessons that she had to learn.

Can A Karmic Relationship Last?

Of the two types of relationships mentioned at the beginning of this post, the very painful ones often don’t last after the Karmic lesson has been learned. That’s why, when the purpose of this relationship is over, you should seriously consider ending this Karmic relationship. I wrote a whole blog post about this, that’s one of the most popular posts on this site and I recommend you read it here.

When the relationship is based more on positive Karma or Punya, then there is a potential of the relationship to last a whole lifetime.

I have experience with both so I’ll share that with you here.

My Story Of A Painful Karmic Relationship

Going back to high school, my high school sweetheart and I definitely had a Karmic relationship. It was painful from the start but it was the sweet kind of pain. I fell for him hard when I was 14 years old and as with any shy teenager, I didn’t tell him anything so he really didn’t know how I felt about him. It was this bittersweet first love kind of pain that would keep me awake at night listening to Mariah Carey and thinking about him.

I share the whole story in this post about Karma in Romantic Relationships and also in this video on my YouTube channel in case you’re interested to hear the full thing.

Then, finally, I told him how I felt and we became boyfriend/girlfriend. I was beyond the moon with happiness. I was so grateful to God that he chose to be with me and give it a go.

But then, the school year ended, and we all went home for the summer since we went to a boarding school. Throughout the summer I thought that we were still together and wrote him letters and wrote poems about him in my diary. Meanwhile, in his mind, we were not together anymore.

So when we returned to school the next year, I went up to him hoping for a warm welcome but he acted like we were already broken up. I was 15 years old by this time and as you can imagine, it crushed my young heart.

That was only the beginning of the painful experiences because we ended up making up and breaking up many times throughout the next few years and hurting each other in different known and unknown ways.

Eventually, we both knew it was time to end our relationship for good when we saw that we were simply going in circles and hurting each other in the exact same way over and over and over again. It simply became pointless to stay together anymore because we weren’t teaching each other anything new anymore.

The Karmic debt from this relationship took decades to work itself out. In fact, I only recently was able to unburden myself of the guilt and regret from the relationship and I share that story in this video here.

My Story Of A Positive Karmic Relationship

On the positive side, Karmic relationships can also last a long time and in fact, turn into successful marriages. This also happened to me and talk about it in this post about Karmic relationships and soulmates.

These positives relationships can also be painful but they are ultimately harmonious. There is a high degree of mutual respect in these relationships and that leads to constant learning. As long as you have opportunities to continue learning and progressing on your spiritual path, this Karmic relationship will last.

How Do You Let Go Of A Karmic Relationship?

To let go of a Karmic relationship, the first step is to acknowledge that you have learned the Karmic lessons that you were meant to from your partner and there’s nothing left that you can teach each other.

Some signs that you have already taught each other the Karmic lessons you were supposed to are:

  • You keep going in circles in your arguments
  • You keep having the same fights over and over again
  • You are in an endless cycle of breakup and makeup
  • You suddenly see the person for who they are after the honeymood period passes
  • You realize that there is something more important to you than staying in this relationship
  • You are not progressing on your spiritual path
  • You are on separate spiritual paths leading you in opposite directions

Once you realize that it’s time to let go, how do you actually do it?

Genuinely start to pray to be freed from this relationship.

I start with this tip because it worked for me super fast. I was once in a relationship with a really wonderful guy but he just wasn’t supposed to be my life partner. He was so good on paper that I couldn’t bring myself to let him go but I found myself secretly crying and praying to the Universe to free me from the situation. Within just over a month, I was offered a great career opportunity that I couldn’t refuse. This took me to a new country and with that, gave me a legitimate reason to end things with the guy for him to let me go as well.

Create your boundaries.

When you realize that you’re in a manipulative Karmic relationship, you have to very strongly create your boundaries to protect yourself energetically. Imagine that you are surrounded by an eggshell-shaped ball of light and this is surrounded by silver glowing chicken wire. This might feel strange at first but do it anyway and feel the warm glow of this protection. This will protect you energetically so that you can’t be manipulated anymore.

Breakup with integrity.

Breaking up is one of the most painful experiences in relationships. I haven’t figured out a way to make this any easier but the one thing that makes it a little better is being honest and having integrity when you do it.

Don’t be afraid to say sorry.

Yes, you’re sorry that it hurts your partner and soon-to-be ex that you want something else in your life. Admit it. And also acknowledge that it’s OK. You are allowed to prioritize yourself. If you keep lying to yourself, you’ll keep lying to him too.

Share Your Story

Now it’s your turn. Do you have a Karmic relationship that was just so painful? Was it one-sided? Why was it painful? Did you end it or find a way to be together and continue growing together?

Please share below because you might be helping someone else by sharing your story.

Thanks and much love,

Ritu

Ritu

Ritu is an Atma Kriya Yoga and meditation teacher. A long time blogger and writer, she writes about personal development, spirituality, and meditation.

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