Still Regret Breaking Up With Your Ex?


If you find yourself wondering whether you get bad Karma for breaking someone’s heart, then there’s a good chance that you’re still carrying a lot of guilt and regret in your heart about it. 

Regret and guilt about breaking up with an ex go hand in hand. They affect your current and future relationships and cause problems in your relationships and will continue to do so until you resolve your guilt and regret. Because you feel guilty about breaking someone’s heart in the past, you’ll keep sabotaging your new relationships. This is because you subconsciously believe that you’re not good enough to deserve a loving and fulfilling new relationship because of what you did in the past. 

These false beliefs need to be dissolved so that your future relationships can be successful. Taking action to resolve your guilt and regret will in turn help you to dissolve these false beliefs. There are two specific steps you can take to free yourself from this guilt and regret which I describe in detail below, so keep reading.  

Is It Normal To Feel Regret After Breaking Up?

If you’ve ever felt regret for breaking up with an ex or for breaking someone’s heart, you are not alone. Many people carry guilt and regret around for years and decades about how they broke someone’s heart or hurt someone they loved in the past. If you feel that you hurt your ex a lot, then the feeling of your regret will be heavier. Even when you don’t feel much, if you created a lot of negative Karma during the breakup, then the feeling of regret will remain until your Karma is worked out. 

I personally felt a lingering regret in the back of my mind for 17 years and you can read my story on this post here. This caused me a lot of emotional, physical, and financial setbacks until I finally acknowledged that I was carrying this regret in my mind and heart. Only after acknowledging it did I realize that it was holding me back and causing problems in my health, in my new relationships, and also in my career. 

How Long Do You Feel Bad After Breaking Up With Someone

There are lots of stats around how long it takes someone to feel better after being dumped like 3 months and 11 days, but what about when you are the one who broke up and feel guilty about it? How long does it take you to truly get over the guilt of breaking up with someone you once loved? 

It may not take you very long to get over breaking up with someone and start to date again. In fact, maybe that’s why you broke up in the first place, because you wanted to have a new relationship and new experiences with other people. But what about the guilt that’s still under the surface? 

When you break up with someone and break someone’s heart, you create negative Karma. You will continue to carry this and pay for this Karma until you pay it back. This could take as long as a few months, 1 year, 10 years or even 20 years. For me it took 17 years to be clear of the Karma from breaking the heart of my first boyfriend

When you don’t get a chance to dissolve this Karma in your current lifetime, it will carry over to your next lifetime. The good news is that the Universe will always give you a chance to pay it back and be clear of your Karmic debt. There are also ways that you can speed this process up and burn your Karma quickly which I’ve shared below the next section, so keep reading.

Signs That You Regret Breaking Up With Someone

  1. Just like when you fall in love and can’t stop thinking about the person, the first sign that you are carrying a lot of regret is that you keep thinking about your ex non-stop. You’ll imagine you saw them walking down the street, other people will start to look like your ex. You’ll wonder if you’ll bump into them or you contemplate on sending a text just to say hi, hope you’re OK. 
  2. A more subtle sign is that you feel blocked in your heart when it comes to new relationships and can’t open your heart and make yourself vulnerable. You lack trust that this time it will work out and this time you won’t end up hurting him or her. You hold yourself back and you might even try to sabotage the relationship. 
  3. You’re blocked in your creativity and in your career. You can’t seem to find your life purpose and are in a state of avoidance. This is a sign that your guilt and regret about the breakup is lingering in your sub-conscience and until you take an action about it, like saying sorry to your ex, it won’t go away.

What To Do If You Regret Breaking Up With Your Ex

These are two specific steps to resolve your guilt and regret about breaking up with someone and at the same time dissolve your Karma around it. 

These steps have to be taken in order. 

First, you have to identify the intensity of your guilt and regret about breaking up. Here’s how to do it: 

  1. Make a list of the 10 most painful things that you have guilt and regret about. Since you’re reading this post, I’m going to guess that a past breakup is going to be high on this list. 
  2. Rank the entire list, 1-10, 1 being the most difficult one. 
  3. If the regret and guilt are in the top 3, then you must take action to get rid of it by saying sorry within the next 7-10 days. 
  4. Until you say sorry to your ex, these feelings of regret won’t go away and you will continue to be blocked in your future relationships, life, and career. 

Now that you’re identified what you need to do, how do you actually say sorry? I wrote a whole post on this that takes you through it step-by-step. Read it here.

You can also watch the video below for some tips on this. 

Ritu

Ritu is an Atma Kriya Yoga and meditation teacher. A long time blogger and writer, she writes about personal development, spirituality, and meditation.

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