If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Will karma get my ex?” then you must have wished at least once that this was true. Well, lucky for you, Karma will most definitely get your ex. Don’t worry. Leave it in karma’s hands.
Sometimes when you’ve been hurt by someone in a romantic relationship, it’s hard to make sense of why it happened. What did you do to deserve this pain? We often don’t realize that we played a part in it and we have the power to overcome the pain and neutralize the karma.
It would be good to work on ourselves and heal the pain at its root in our heart, but sometimes you need a good laugh to get even with your ex. These funny quotes about relationship and breakup karma will make you feel good for now about your ex.
Let me tell you, he or she is not off the hook. Karma is watching and it will get even. It’s a universal law. Scroll down for all the quotes or watch my video summarizing everything here.
“Is my marriage going to survive the Coronavirus?” I found myself asking this question over and over in my head during the last few days of the Coronavirus quarantine. If you’ve been wondering whether your relationship will survive the Coronavirus, you’re not the only one.
Thousands of people are wondering the same thing because they are also struggling in their relationships during the Covid-19 lockdown. The New York Times has even coined the term “Covidivorces”. Although initially, we all laughed that 300 couples filed for divorce immediately after coming out of quarantine in China, now it’s slowly dawning upon us that we might personally contribute to a similar trend in our own countries. And we are scared.
We are asking ourselves questions like, “Does my husband or partner love me enough to WANT to stay together after this is over?” and the scarier question which is, “Do I love my husband or partner enough to truthfully stay in this relationship any longer?”
You might also be wondering, “Is he emotionally cheating on me? Why is he on his phone more than usual? Is he texting his ex?” And again, worse is when your mind keeps wandering back to your ex and memories of the pure love you shared keep surfacing in your heart.
Why Are People Having So Many Relationship Problems Because Of The Coronavirus?
The specific questions that are coming up for you right now during the Coronavirus quarantine are coming up precisely because these are the exact topics that you have been trying to suppress.
Many spiritual thought leaders are saying that the whole reason that this virus has hit our planet is to force us to finally look at the stuff we’ve been trying to ignore and/or suppress, e.g. climate change, animal agriculture, and some say even political and economic corruption.
The Coronavirus effect on our marriage and relationships is the same. It is forcing us to see and face the problems we’ve been ignoring and suppressing in our marriages and relationships.
These problems range from surface-level things like you not liking how your partner chews his food really loudly, to some very deep stuff, like you not agreeing with his parenting style and how he disciplines your children.
The top 5 relationship problems that you are Suppressing
In my experience, here are the top 5 relationship problems that you most likely have been trying to suppress that the Coronavirus is bringing up to the surface:
You are completely out of touch with how your partner really feels. You “think” you know how he’s feeling and you “guess” he’s happy in the relationship, but in reality, he is not happy and is starting to fall out of love with you.
You’re telling yourself that you guys are in a “good place” right now and you really believe it, but the undercurrent of dissatisfaction surfaces now and again in explosive fights.
You’re lying to yourself that you are both happy in your relationship because it’s easier than having to think about all the things you’ll have to do and wonder about where you’ll go if you had to split up.
You have the completely wrong idea of why your partner is upset and unhappy to be in a relationship with you. You have asked him questions, you’ve done your best to guess what is making him unhappy, but the real reason has been completely hidden from you.
You have been very cruel and hurtful to your partner. A part of you knows this and you’re ashamed about this but it’s easier to ignore your behaviour than to truly say sorry.
Before I tell you how to address each of these problems, let me tell you a bit more about how the Coronavirus is forcing us to face the issues that we’re trying to ignore.
Coronavirus, Marriage Problems, and Karma
Actually, the Youtube Channel, Dharma Speaks explains it well in this video.
The world is facing the same calamity but in reality each of us is individually dealing with the same calamity in a completely different way. The cosmic order is being recalibrated and what this means for each one of us is that our own individual Dharma is being reestablished.
If we look at the effects of this global crisis everybody has been forced into different challenges. Some are having to face the fear of death and realize the precious nature of life. Others are having to come to terms with immense financial difficulties and some are having to deal with prolonged social isolation.
Such challenges are specifically designed to bring each one of us back to our innate purpose they come about to make us reflect and see what is important.
They are there to make us face the issues we have suppressed or denied.
Life is constantly trying to make us more spiritually conscious and live in line with the reason we have been born but why we might ask does this have to be done in such a harsh way? Why can’t there be a more direct and easier method with which to learn?
The truth is transformation will only happen when we are challenged.
Dharma Speaks Youtube Channel
Let me echo that last sentence. The truth is transformation will only happen when we are challenged.
The Corona quarantine is challenging us. It’s extremely difficult to spend this much time with our partners and with no one else to distract us or take the edge off. It’s downright painful.
It is because of this pain that we’ll finally breakthrough our own resistance is facing the deep issues in our marriages and relationships. This pain is ultimately what will save our marriage and relationships.
Is my marriage going to survive the Coronavirus?
Coming back to my original question, “Is your marriage going to survive the Coronavirus?” The answer is, yes, it is – but only if you take the following 3 steps. certain steps to help .
Your marriage will survive the Covid-19 quarantine if you:
Look at the problems in your relationship that you’re trying to suppress instead of pretending they are not there.
Reach out to someone you trust for help and advice and/or go to couples counseling immediately. Luckily this can be done online.
Have the courage to ask your partner what’s wrong and be ready to see and feel how you might have hurt him. Once you truly feel his pain, have the courage to say sorry and mean it.
To address the 5 main relationship problems that you are likely suppressing, that the Coronavirus is trying to bring up for you, you have to follow the 3 steps above. Start with the second step – that’s what I did.
When I started to really ask myself, “Is my marriage going to survive the Coronavirus?” I reached out to my dad and asked him for advice. Not everyone has a trusted and open relationship with their dad or mom so this might not be possible for you, but take this step anyway.
Reach out for help.
Ask your friends for a recommendation for a couples counselor and go for a session together with your partner. It takes strength to ask someone for help. You are strong and you can do this.
You will survive the Coronavirus and so will your marriage and your relationship.
Stay healthy, stay well.
Do you have a friend who is having a hard time in their relationship during the quarantine? Forward this to them.
When I had to “break up” with a friend recently, I was so confused about why it was happening. We used to be best friends! How did it come to the point where we were officially breaking up our friendship? Could it be that our friendship was ending because we had a karmic friendship and we have to now break up because of that?
My mind was reeling with so many questions. How can two people who were like sisters go from loving and supporting each other to not being able to stand each other?
I mean, we did everything together before. We lived together in University, we cooked together, ate together, went out partying together, studied together, spent holidays with each other’s families, traveled together and texted each other every other day when we moved into our own separate apartments.
The only answer could be that just like karmic relationships exist, so do karmic friendships and this was one of them.
A karmic friendship is a friendship that becomes very intense very quickly, is emotionally charged, where you become a part of each other’s families, is filled with ups and downs, often involves other family members on both sides, and sometimes ends without explanation.
If you think you are in a karmic friendship with someone, then you’re probably right. There are many more signs that will tell you that you have big karma with a friend and I’ll list those below. I’ll also share the details of my own karmic friendship, the difficult one where it ended up in an actual “friendship breakup”.
You want to know why you and your best friend are having difficulties now that just don’t seem to go away no matter what you do. If you’re wondering whether you should just end the friendship or to try to fix your relationship, then this post will help you so read on.
Am I in a karmic friendship with someone?
Most people aren’t even aware that friendships can be karmic just like relationships, so I’m really glad that you are asking yourself this question.
As I’ve said before in my other posts about karma and relationships, in fact, all your relationships are karmic. Every family member, every boss, every friend is connected to you karmically whether it’s a loose tie or a complex, intertwined tie.
To be absolutely sure, here’s a list of 7 signs that will make it clear whether you’re in a karmic friendship or not.
7 Signs that you’re in a karmic friendship
Answer the questions in this list to know how karmic this friendship is:
Did you become great friends instantly without any warm-up period? Was it like you knew each other before because of how comfortable you were with each other and how well you “got” each other?
Did your friendship become very intense very quickly? In no time at all, were you doing everything together like eating, going out, studying, and texting each other constantly?
Was your friendship emotionally charged? Did you open up to each other right away and shared your deepest pains with each other? Was crying with each other was totally normal because you supported each other?
Was your friendship filled with ups and downs? Just like relationships, were there periods when you felt like your friend didn’t understand you or did something to hurt you and you were deeply affected by it? Even if you didn’t have a full-blown fight, did your friend have an effect on your feelings very deeply?
Did you become a part of each other’s families? Because you were so close to each other and did everything together, was it natural for you to invite each other to family events? Did your family also welcome your friend into their lives and did your friend become like an extended family member?
Did other family members of your family get involved with your friend or someone in their family? For example, did your mom and your friend’s mom become very close and had their own friendship? Or did your brother or sister also become friends with your friend and they texted each other and hang out?
Did your friendship end or change dramatically without explanation? Does it feel like you don’t understand each other anymore? Do you feel like you are constantly feeling judged by your friend when you open up and share what’s on your mind and what makes you happy or sad?
If you answered yes to most of these questions then you can be sure that your friendship is karmic.
Should I end my friendship with my best friend?
Since you’re asking yourself this question, you are probably thinking about one friend in particular who you are very intertwined with. Things have gotten weird between you two and you can’t quite figure out how to go back to normal or whether you even want to.
First, figure out whether you even want to put in the work needed to fix the friendship and whether it’s worth it.
Here are a few reasons for choosing to let the relationship end or choosing to fix the relationship:
You can totally be yourselves with each other no matter what has happened before.
When you manage to spend time together without fighting, it is icy cold and you don’t enjoy it.
When you manage to spend time together without fighting, it is warm and feels familiar and comfortable again.
When you come home after hanging out together, you feel completely drained and might even have a headache.
When you come home after hanging out together, you feel energized.
You can’t help but judge the other person because you don’t believe that the way they do things is right.
You still appreciate the good qualities and strengths of the other person.
You feel grateful for the times in the past that you spent together as friends but are relieved that you don’t have to deal with them so much anymore.
No matter what, you feel grateful to have your friend in your life and you know it wouldn’t be the same if they weren’t in your life.
How to fix a karmic relationship with a best friend?
Now that you’ve seen for yourself that you have some reasons to fix your karmic friendship, let’s talk about how to go about this uncomfortable task.
It is going to be uncomfortable because you probably have said some mean things to each other already and it’s difficult to make the first move to making up. I wrote a whole post about how to say sorry to a friend after a fight which is based on a real-life situation. I’ll also share my own updated story of how I made up with my ex-best friend.
It was clear that my ex-best friend and I had a karmic friendship because we hit it off from the start and became very close, very quickly. After 15 years of friendship, things started to get weird as we moved to different countries and got married. Somehow we didn’t understand each other anymore and we stopped respecting each other’s life choices.
We tried to keep it friendly by texting now and then and meeting up when the other person was in town. But of course, the bitter feelings couldn’t be kept down and we ended up having an explosive fight. After the fight, I got a long message from her saying that we need to officially end our friendship as it was hurting us more than helping us. I agreed and didn’t speak for over a year after that.
Even though we had “broken up” I couldn’t stop thinking about her and I really wanted her to be at my wedding. So I mustered up the courage and sent her a short and sweet email asking her whether she’d like to attend the wedding. I used a lot of tips from my post on how to say sorry, so this might help you too.
To my surprise, she wrote back within 24 hours and said she would be happy to come. I was so relieved.
In the end, she didn’t end up coming to my wedding because of health issues, but it brought us back to speaking terms which was a huge relief.
I’ll be honest, we are no longer best friends. We don’t share important things in our lives with each other, and we don’t lean on each other for support when we’re going through something tough. But at least I know that I can email her and that she’ll write back.
For now, that’s good enough.
How to end a karmic relationship with a best friend?
If I could give you any advice, I’d say don’t break up your friendship the way I did in my story above. Don’t wait until you have an explosive fight and say really mean things to each other.
First, be very sure that you want to officially break up your friendship. Use the table above to decide this. If you’re absolutely sure, then you can follow the advice in this video.
Try to do is softly at first. Spend less and less time with each other. Eventually, the less you can see each other, the better for you since you secretly don’t like each other anymore.
It’s better to be real with yourself and your friend rather than being fake.
In summary, when a friendship is karmic, it starts with an instant spark and the closeness can end just as quickly. When the karma between the two of you is over, it’s over. There’s no reason for you to be in each other’s lives anymore.
With karmic friendships, you came into each other’s lives because you had some unresolved karma to work out with each other. You’ve definitely been connected in a past life – maybe you were siblings, relatives, or even a couple. You owed each other something or you had to learn something from each other. Once that karmic debt is paid, you have a clean slate with each other and you can let the relationship go.
I was thinking about an ex-boyfriend from long ago who used to struggle with performance anxiety and it got me wondering how many men are affected by this. So I did some research and spoke to some friends to find out how common it is and what the best treatment options are.
So, does your boyfriend have performance anxiety? He’s not alone and neither are you. According to Healthline, sexual performance anxiety affects 26 percent of adult men under 40. When I spoke to my girlfriends about this, those who were open enough to share with me, 2 out of 5 of us shared that our boyfriends sometimes struggled to get started or to finish.
Guys having sexual performance anxiety, especially at the beginning of a relationship is a lot more common than you think. Apart from the ex I mentioned above, I dated someone else who had had trouble with other partners. Obviously he didn’t admit it to me and we didn’t talk openly about it but there were signs. I’ll share a bit about what those signs are, how you can tell if this is a one-time thing or if it’s going to be a longterm problem, and what you can do to help him as a girlfriend.
Signs That Your Boyfriend Has Sexual Performance Anxiety
The very first sign that your boyfriend has sexual performance anxiety is, well, pretty obvious. You might be making out, then things get sexy, you get even more intimate, and then suddenly you realize that the sexy train is silently screeching to a halt and it gets mega awkward pretty fast.
The more sneaky signs are that he’ll kind of stop being intimate and pretend to have lost interest in you for the moment. This is a real douchebag move and it makes you feel like crap and self-conscious. Just know that he is doing this so you won’t realize that the problem is actually him and instead, you will blame yourself. If you spot this type of dishonesty in a guy from the beginning, just stay cautious.
Another sign that your guy has ED sometimes is that he’ll be really surprised and happy when things go well without any glitches. He’s super relieved that it hasn’t happened again to him and he’s very happy that you’re that one who helped him to not be anxious and lose his momentum. If this is his reaction, then this is not a longterm problem and you relax and can expect a happy ending most of the time.
How To Help Your Boyfriend With ED
The number one thing you can do to help your boyfriend or someone you are dating with ED or simple sexual performance anxiety is to, first of all, be comfortable with yourself. Just relax and don’t worry about what you’re wearing, whether you look fat, or whether he is judging your sexy moves. You can believe that he is loving it all, and when you feel good about what you’re doing, you will relax, and in turn, he will relax and the chances of him struggling to finish or finishing too early will be much less.
This is true especially at the beginning of a relationship.
If the problem persists, however, it’s crucial to figure out the root of the problem first so that you can seek the best treatment as a couple or he alone from an ED doctor or urologist. Ask yourself, is his performance anxiety linked to external conflicts or internal conflicts? Figuring this out will help you choose the right way to approach the topic with him.
Maybe he just has fears and apprehensions when it comes to sex because he has hyped it up too much or he thinks it’s the most important thing in a relationship. You can help him understand that sex is only a part of a healthy relationship and the entire thing doesn’t depend only on that.
If you think that speaking to a doctor and getting a prescription for ED medication would help him more, and help you both as a couple to spend more time being intimate, you should encourage and support him. Don’t make him feel like an old man or feel judged about it. You’re in this together and let him know that, because after all, the one who will benefit most from this is you!
How To Talk To Your Boyfriend About ED
Incorporating sex into a regular topic of conversation with your partner may seem a bit awkward at first, but opening up this line of communication is important for everyone, especially if one of you have anxiety about sex and it is affecting your relationship.
Start by privately talking to your partner about your likes, dislikes, sexual history, and other thoughts you have concerning sex, and be sure to ask about theirs. Sharing these feelings will deepen your connection and ultimately make your sexual experiences together more pleasurable.
I have to be honest though. I didn’t talk openly about my ex’s and my difficulty in this area with him. I wish I had. I don’t think it would have made us stay together because there were many other good reasons for us to split, but it might have helped us be more open and honest with each other.
If I had spoken to him openly about it, maybe I would have helped him be more himself and helped him feel more accepted. Maybe I had played a part in making him anxious and I didn’t want to acknowledge that, so I didn’t say anything. Or maybe I was simply uncomfortable to mention anything. Either way, I wish we had spoken about it.
Talking about your past sexual experience, partners, etc. and also about fears when it comes to sex or your partner cheating on you can make you feel uncomfortable for days. But speaking from experience, I have to say that talking about it will help you as a couple in the long run. You’ll be uncomfortable for a few days but it could buy you a few years together, so it’s worth it.
When I was recently thinking about how to heal a difficult karmic relationship, I wondered what the easiest way to do it is. That got me thinking, researching and reflecting, and this is what I came up.
So how do you heal karmic relationships? These are the 3 best ways for healing according to my research and experience.
Personally saying sorry and taking ownership
Asking for forgiveness in your heart, but only if you truly feel sorry
Stop thinking bad things about the other person (this is the easiest and at the same time the hardest one but I’ll explain more in detail below)
Different Types Of Karmic Relationships
Karmic relationships are not just limited to romantic relationships. Actually the biggest karmic relationships in your life are in your family. You have a long history of karma with your mother, father, sisters, brothers, your kids, and also your extended family.
You can also have karmic relationships with your classmates, with your boss and coworkers (watch my video on dealing with bullies at work), with friends of the same sex or opposite sex, people in your spiritual or religious community, and even with your neighbours.
Difficulties in Karmic Relationships
Every relationship has its ups and downs and this is especially true in the case of karmic relationships. If you are having a really difficult time with someone and you find that you keep hurting each other in a specific relationship, whether it is with your romantic partner, or whether it is with a friend, you can bet that you have some heavy karma from a past life (or even from earlier on in this life).
The good news is that you can heal this karma and heal your relationship. Even if you think that the relationship is not healed because you couldn’t go “back to the way it used to be” with someone, you can trust that healing occurred.
Often YOU will be the one who is healed from doing the work to heal a karmic relationship. That means even if on the surface you can’t go back to the way it used to be, you will be at peace with how the relationship has changed.
So, now let’s get into how to actually do the work to heal your karmic relationships.
Personally saying sorry and taking ownership to heal a karmic relationship
In order to make progress in healing any relationship, you have to first take ownership of the part you played in the whole thing going “wrong”.
That means if it’s a friendship that has gone bitter where you just don’t understand each other anymore, own up to the fact that you both have changed since the early days of your friendship. It’s not only your friend who is different and unrelatable now. Acknowledge that you have also grown and changed and that means that you have also grown apart in equal proportion.
If it’s a romantic relationship where it feels like you have drifted apart from your partner and you make each other feel miserable now, take ownership of how you have grown and changed as well and how are also acting in ways that your partner had not expected.
Saying sorry is not easy but it is the fastest way to break the ice, dissolve resentment, and progress healing in a karmic relationship.
Asking for forgiveness in your heart when you truly feel sorry
When saying sorry in person is just not possible because you aren’t able to contact the other person in the karmic relationship, then you can ask for forgiveness in your heart.
As I mentioned in a previous post, the key to this method is to truly and honestly feel sorry in your heart and to feel the remorse of having hurt another person.
When you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes and feel what they might have felt while you were having a fight, then you will be able to ask for forgiveness in your heart.
Here’s how you can ask for forgiveness in your heart. First step: Meditate. If you need a bit of help getting into a deep meditation, check out my free 5 day meditation course here. After your meditation, take a moment to visualize yourself in front of the other person, and then tell them you are sorry. That’s it; it’s that simple. It’s very similar to this scene in Eat, Pray, Love, and the effect is just as real. Real healing can happen when you ask for forgiveness in your heart.
If you haven’t ready the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert already, then I highly recommend reading it. You can buy it either in paperback (from $3.99 on Amazon) or on your Kindle ebook reader ($7.30). It changed my whole outlook on resolving my Karma with an ex and I’m sure it will help you too.
Stop thinking bad things about the other person
This is the easiest and at the same time the hardest way for healing karmic relationships. The easiest because all you have to do is stop thinking bad things about the other person and stop wishing them unwell. At the same time, it is the hardest because it’s not so easy to control your thoughts and to control your mind.
My Guru Paramahamsa Vishwananda explains this very well. The power of the mind is huge. Scary huge, as he says in the video below.
But how do you control your thoughts? Well, again, meditation is a great tool and it has helped me the most in my personal healing journey. You can read all my posts on meditation here.
There’s an even more effortless way to stop thinking negative thoughts about someone you’re in a karmic relationship with. The trick is to focus on their positive qualities as well.
Focus on the positive qualities about the other person without being snarky and without secretly hating on them for being good at some things. Everyone has good and bad in them. You are not an exception and neither is the other person in your karmic relationship. So, focus on their positive qualities and acknowledge and if possible, try to admire them for it.
Controlling your thoughts and just stopping yourself before you think something negative about the other person in the relationship that you want to heal will have an instant effect on your karma.
Remember, there are two people in this relationship, so stop thinking negative things about YOURSELF as well. Beating yourself up and reminding yourself of all the things you did wrong is not going to heal anything.
Here are a few things that will help you to heal a karmic relationship.
Bullying doesn’t stop even after you become an adult. It’s a sad truth but the good news is that you can do something about it.
The fact is that there is a lot of bullying that happens in the workplace.
If you have ever been pushed around or bullied in your office or workplace, then you know how much it sucks and how much it can hurt when it happens.
Bullying in the workplace is actually more common than you think. So, it super important to be able to recognize when it’s happening and doing something about it! To protect yourself and to stop it from happening to others.
In this video, I talk about how to deal with bullying at work.
Get Help With Workplace Bullying
As a side note, when I got started in my whole self-help journey, one person that really helped me deal with a bullying at work situation is my career mentor, Alan Kay. He works with young people getting started in their careers and also with people like me, people in their 30s, to help them find direction and deal with difficult situations at work. Feel free to contact him and tell him that you heard about him from Ritu. I can’t recommend him enough!