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Do You Get Bad Karma For Breaking Someone's Heart?

Do You Get Bad Karma For Breaking Someone's Heart?

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Recovering From Anxiety And Depression – Personal Essay

This is a guest post from Jadine Lydia. Read her bio below at the end of this post.

How do you recover from anxiety if you don’t even know that you are an anxious person? What are the mental and physical signs that you have anxiety? What steps can you take to come out of anxiety and depression?

These are questions that I’ve finally found the answers to and I will be sharing my story in this guest post. I write this after having wiggled my way out of years of depression and having learned to laugh at my anxious tendencies. My anxiety is still there but it does not have power over me anymore. This can be your story too.

How Do You Know If You Have Anxiety?

For most of my life, I didn’t even know I was anxious.

I thought I was just a high achiever with a fast mind and a restless body.

It is only now that I can openly admit that I am an anxious person.

The separation between mental and physical symptoms of anxiety has been a hard line to differentiate. I have experienced chronic health conditions since the age of nineteen and have been on a rollercoaster ride of learning to manage physical symptoms whilst living in a wobbly mental realm.

In this guest post, I will be sharing the three major gateways that lifted me out of depression and into a life with less anxiety and a load more laughter! I hope my story inspires you, moves you, and stirs you enough to rise above and beyond the depths.

You can feel better despite having anxiety and depression. I’m living proof.

A Personal Essay On Living With Anxiety and Depression

The Watery Depths (2015-2019)

I spent the four years from 2015 to 2019 in what felt like a hell hole; trapped from the inside out.

My physical body was in a ridiculous state and I was experiencing endless lists of crazy physical symptoms, hopping from doctor to doctor, hospital to hospital, and getting absolutely nowhere.

I had zero energy, I was sleeping by 2 pm every day and to be quite honest, I wanted out of life. 

After three years of intense gut pain and chronic fatigue, I was diagnosed with a parasite. The doctor and hospital appointments went on and on and I found myself chasing an endless list of symptoms, hundreds of phone call appointments, and taking too many prescription medications to count.

After two years of treating the parasite, I was still sick.

Other labels were added to my health record including Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Postural Tachycardia Syndrome, Dry-Eye syndrome, Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth, Gastroparesis, and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.  

I wanted out. 

Emerging from the Depths (2019 onwards)

One pivotal thing I did during this dark time was to buy myself a sassy notebook. In the notebook, I wrote a ‘get better plan.’

When I was at my absolute depths of despair, I would sit down with my notebook and write the small, simple things that I could change which would make me feel like I was moving forward.

That was the first gateway out of my situation.

The more I began to do this, the more I realized: Depression = feeling stuck. 

A conversation with my Mum further highlighted this fact. She said, “You need to focus on moving forward, it will help you get unstuck.”

She was right.

Every few months, I would write a ‘get better plan’ in my journal and it would allow me to feel less trapped.

As my health began to improve, I started to expand.

I wrote ‘Jadine 11.0’ at the top of my notebook and decided, I was going to upgrade myself; like an iPhone but in the human form. 

Jadine 11.0 was brave, dynamic, strong, and creative. She was a go-getter, an intuitive, and a legend! Jadine 11.0 loved to dance, she loved yoga, she loved attending women’s circles, she loved dressing up sexy and hitting the town, she loved creating and blogging and having cozy nights with friends. Jadine also had her dreams…

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I began to write about who I was at my core, things that lit up my soul, and places that I would love to visit. For the first time in a long time, I began to write down things to look forward to.

I was finally waking up to life.

My depression ended when I got unstuck.

Today, I am sharing my story with you to help you get unstuck as well.

How Do You Get “Unstuck” From Depression

Depression is not an easy thing to face and often it is not our choice to become depressed.

Many triggers can be the catalyst for depression including grief, illness, the loss of a job, low self-esteem, bullying, lack of purpose/direction, financial burdens, and more.

Whilst we cannot change the events of our lives, we do have a choice over two things…

We can either:

  • Stay stuck OR move forward.

However, this has to be a conscious choice; you must be willing to move forward, and you must be open to the possibility of increasing your personal power.

Without this making this conscious choice, you will stay stuck. 

5 Steps To Getting Unstuck From Depression

  1. Make future plans, even if they are small > give yourself something to look forward to!
  2. Write a list of people and places that make you feel good > spend more time with these people and at these places.
  3. Change up your routine > start a new hobby, go to a new supermarket, visit a garden center, walk a new way to work, expand your horizons!
  4. Ask Yourself > What would I be doing if this ‘circumstance’ hadn’t hit me?
    Often when a crisis hits, we become so emersed in the crisis that we forget who we are, and what we liked to do before the darkness hit. Asking yourself this question will remind you, that you are not ‘depression;’ you are a living, breathing human with endless possibilities ahead!
  5. Write a monthly ‘get better/feel good’ plan > check in regularly and keep making small shifts to move forward in some way, shape, or form.

The concept of ‘getting unstuck’ is still one I use to this day. When life feels heavy, when a crisis hits or when I am feeling off-kilter – I ask myself, ‘how can I get unstuck?’ 

Similarly, ‘getting unstuck’ can also be a great tool for reducing levels of anxiety. 

And there are other tools that can support you to rise beyond an anxious wreck. The next section of this post talks about overcoming anxiety in detail, backed by my personal experience and what worked for me.

What It Looks Like When Anxiety Takes Over

At many points in my life, I have been an anxious wreck.

Before experiencing chronic illness, I was already a flighty person – always worrying about what other people would think, what they would say, what would happen if I was late, what would happen if I forgot to pack something, what would happen if the train got canceled, and on and on and on.

Unfortunately, the experience of illness heightened these tendencies and before I knew it, I was avoiding EVERYTHING.

Suddenly, I started avoiding:

– eating out with friends (what if there was nothing I could eat?)

– going out in the evenings (what if I got too tired and couldn’t drive home?)

– seeing family and friends (how could they ever understand my state of health?)

– sharing lifts with people (what if I wanted to go home early?)

– going to shops (what if I couldn’t cope with the light and the noise?)

– working (what if I couldn’t get through my shift?)

The list went on.

Looking back I now see that these tendencies were simply subconscious behavior patterns that were trying to protect me. In Avoiding everything I was avoiding my triggers and trying to keep myself well.

Breaking Out Of My Comfort Zone to Break Out of Anxiety

If I am totally honest, I only began taking a closer look at this anxiety about six months ago.

During October of 2021, I was feeling so ‘squashed’ by the limitations that my anxious mind was putting on me, that I did something unexpected. I signed up for a course called DNRS – the Dynamic Neural Retraining System by Annie Hopper. 

This course has changed my life.

In the past when people told me that I ‘needed to challenge myself out of my comfort zone’ I used to get annoyed. It’s not like I wasn’t already trying! I simply had a cascade of crazy health symptoms and a mind which didn’t know how to stay straight when my body was feeling wonky. On top of that, I didn’t have the tools to push myself out of my comfort zone, until I found DNRS.

DNRS isn’t just for people experiencing chronic health conditions, it is also for those with anxiety, PTSD, depression, and more; the course teaches you to rewire your neural pathways and has supported me to step into living my best life! 

I am eating more food than ever before (which is a good thing), I am going out in the evenings to music events and gigs, I am sharing lifts with people and shopping until my heart is content, I am holding down my job and building my writing career, I am more spontaneous and I feel a lot more joy!

Floating Above & Beyond the Anxious Wreck

Anxiety isn’t quite like depression. Whilst planning dreams and goals may be a big part of pulling someone out of depression, this can often feel super scary for someone with anxiety. 

Overcoming anxiety is about taking it step by step, by step.

It’s about easing your way into new situations, new places, and new people with little victories along the way. The more little victories you achieve, the more confidence you will have moving forward.

Overcoming anxiety is also about creating new associations.

Often, when our brain experiences a negative event it will unknowingly label similar situations with ‘anxiety alert!’ in an attempt to keep us safe. However, we must remember, that our brain is pretty primal. We are not cavemen anymore and walking into a supermarket is not going to kill us.

I say this because I used to have a real hard time going into supermarkets. 

This was mainly due to the sensory overwhelm I would experience, related to my physical health. 

However, after a while, my brain began to associate supermarkets with intense stress and pain and before long, I was avoiding them like the plague.

During the past six months, I have retrained my brain to actually enjoy supermarket shopping, by creating a positive association every time I enter a store. For example, I will take my time, meandering around the clothes aisles, looking at beautiful magazines, or picking up my favorite sweets! 

I eeeeeeeeek out the experience, with as many positive associations as possible, whilst doing my shopping casually, rather than rushing in and out of the door. 

At first, it was difficult and I was still experiencing high levels of anxiety walking into shops and stores. However, after a couple of weeks – a miracle happened!

I began to walk into the store feeling calm and relaxed, my sight and balance improved during the trip and I actually started to enjoy the experience. Now, I love shopping! (and all the jelly babies and gummy worms I return home with).

This is just one example of how we can create positive associations and reduce levels of anxiety that have been ‘learnt’ in relation to certain triggers.

How You Can Reduce Levels of Anxiety 

  1. Step outside of your comfort zone just a little > practise this incrementally. 

Perhaps this is trying one new food, maybe it’s walking down the street alone just 100 yards, perhaps it’s visiting your friend for thirty minutes. Set your comfort zone, and step outside just a little bit. Repeat this step regularly, increasing it just a little more each time.

  1. Create new associations > which situations do you currently struggle with? How can you make these more enjoyable? 

Look for ways to create new, positive associations in situations that would usually cause you anxiety. You may even want to get your friends on board e.g. if going on the bus usually makes you feel anxious, you could ask your friend to come along with you and listen to some of your favourite tunes together! 

In Conclusion 

Depression and anxiety are real things, but they are not permanent. 

Whilst it may take a little work and determination, it is possible to feel infinitely better than you might feel now.

You can begin to lift out of depression by practicing this one simple rule: 

  1. Choosing to MOVE FORWARD. 

And you can begin to subdue levels of anxiety by following these action steps:

  1. Stepping outside of your comfort zone incrementally &
  2. Creating new, positive associations.

I can only hope that this post has lifted you in some way. I cannot thank Annie Hopper and the DNRS programme enough for giving me my life back. Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions as I would love to connect! 

Note > this blog post is not a replacement for any medication or doctor’s recommendations. Please see a healthcare practitioner if you are struggling with your mental health.  

Jadine Lydia is an Intuitive Life Coach, Freelance Writer & Inspirational Content Creator. She lives on the Cornish Coast in South West England. Her writing shares her happy-go-lucky, holistic approach to love, laughter, and life; inspiring others to deepen their connection to the divine. She empowers others to take ‘intuitive action’ towards manifesting their deepest dreams and desires. Her latest books and self-development courses can be found via her website:

Why Are Karmic Relationships So Painful?

When I look back at all the relationships I’ve mentioned in my Karma & Relationships series on this blog, there’s a clear pattern. All of them are in one way or another extremely painful experiences. This made me wonder, are all Karmic relationships so painful?

Luckily, the answer to this question is optimistic.

Most Karmic relationships are painful because they make us learn difficult Karmic lessons. These lessons are necessary for us to progress in spirituality. Karmic relationships also contain periods of extreme joy and happiness which should be enjoyed and appreciated. When it has served its purpose, it is recommended to end the Karmic relationship and move on.

Yes, learning difficult Karmic lessons can be very painful and can take years to heal from but Karmic relationships can also be beautiful and harmonious relationships that last for a lifetime. I have personal experience with both of these types of relationships which I’ll share below as well as with unrequited one-sided love and Karma with cheaters. So, keep reading.

Are Karmic Relationships One-Sided?

Karmic relationships are usually two-sided partnerships. The individual Karma of both people has brought them together in this lifetime. There is something they have to teach each other and that’s why they have come together. One person might love the other much more, but Karmically, the other person is just as involved. Even when one person does not return the love to the same degree, they are balancing their Karmic debt towards the other person.

Let’s talk about unrequited love though. One of my best friends from high school, let’s call her Gita, had a massive crush on a guy from her class. He was aware of it but he acted oblivious to it and didn’t give her that kind of attention at all. I remember that Gita was so in love with him for more than a year and it made me angry that he didn’t acknowledge it and didn’t reciprocate.

What was the Karmic situation in this?

I think that it was my friend Gita’s Karma to be in love with this guy and experience what unrequited love feels like, with all its pain and rejection. It’s possible that in a past life she had rejected him in the same way so, in this lifetime, she had to experience rejection as well. It is also likely that she had to learn how it feels to be rejected so that she would value when a guy came along who would actually give her the love and attention she deserves. These are the two Karmic lessons that she had to learn.

Can A Karmic Relationship Last?

Of the two types of relationships mentioned at the beginning of this post, the very painful ones often don’t last after the Karmic lesson has been learned. That’s why, when the purpose of this relationship is over, you should seriously consider ending this Karmic relationship. I wrote a whole blog post about this, that’s one of the most popular posts on this site and I recommend you read it here.

When the relationship is based more on positive Karma or Punya, then there is a potential of the relationship to last a whole lifetime.

I have experience with both so I’ll share that with you here.

My Story Of A Painful Karmic Relationship

Going back to high school, my high school sweetheart and I definitely had a Karmic relationship. It was painful from the start but it was the sweet kind of pain. I fell for him hard when I was 14 years old and as with any shy teenager, I didn’t tell him anything so he really didn’t know how I felt about him. It was this bittersweet first love kind of pain that would keep me awake at night listening to Mariah Carey and thinking about him.

I share the whole story in this post about Karma in Romantic Relationships and also in this video on my YouTube channel in case you’re interested to hear the full thing.

Then, finally, I told him how I felt and we became boyfriend/girlfriend. I was beyond the moon with happiness. I was so grateful to God that he chose to be with me and give it a go.

But then, the school year ended, and we all went home for the summer since we went to a boarding school. Throughout the summer I thought that we were still together and wrote him letters and wrote poems about him in my diary. Meanwhile, in his mind, we were not together anymore.

So when we returned to school the next year, I went up to him hoping for a warm welcome but he acted like we were already broken up. I was 15 years old by this time and as you can imagine, it crushed my young heart.

That was only the beginning of the painful experiences because we ended up making up and breaking up many times throughout the next few years and hurting each other in different known and unknown ways.

Eventually, we both knew it was time to end our relationship for good when we saw that we were simply going in circles and hurting each other in the exact same way over and over and over again. It simply became pointless to stay together anymore because we weren’t teaching each other anything new anymore.

The Karmic debt from this relationship took decades to work itself out. In fact, I only recently was able to unburden myself of the guilt and regret from the relationship and I share that story in this video here.

My Story Of A Positive Karmic Relationship

On the positive side, Karmic relationships can also last a long time and in fact, turn into successful marriages. This also happened to me and talk about it in this post about Karmic relationships and soulmates.

These positives relationships can also be painful but they are ultimately harmonious. There is a high degree of mutual respect in these relationships and that leads to constant learning. As long as you have opportunities to continue learning and progressing on your spiritual path, this Karmic relationship will last.

How Do You Let Go Of A Karmic Relationship?

To let go of a Karmic relationship, the first step is to acknowledge that you have learned the Karmic lessons that you were meant to from your partner and there’s nothing left that you can teach each other.

Some signs that you have already taught each other the Karmic lessons you were supposed to are:

  • You keep going in circles in your arguments
  • You keep having the same fights over and over again
  • You are in an endless cycle of breakup and makeup
  • You suddenly see the person for who they are after the honeymood period passes
  • You realize that there is something more important to you than staying in this relationship
  • You are not progressing on your spiritual path
  • You are on separate spiritual paths leading you in opposite directions

Once you realize that it’s time to let go, how do you actually do it?

Genuinely start to pray to be freed from this relationship.

I start with this tip because it worked for me super fast. I was once in a relationship with a really wonderful guy but he just wasn’t supposed to be my life partner. He was so good on paper that I couldn’t bring myself to let him go but I found myself secretly crying and praying to the Universe to free me from the situation. Within just over a month, I was offered a great career opportunity that I couldn’t refuse. This took me to a new country and with that, gave me a legitimate reason to end things with the guy for him to let me go as well.

Create your boundaries.

When you realize that you’re in a manipulative Karmic relationship, you have to very strongly create your boundaries to protect yourself energetically. Imagine that you are surrounded by an eggshell-shaped ball of light and this is surrounded by silver glowing chicken wire. This might feel strange at first but do it anyway and feel the warm glow of this protection. This will protect you energetically so that you can’t be manipulated anymore.

Breakup with integrity.

Breaking up is one of the most painful experiences in relationships. I haven’t figured out a way to make this any easier but the one thing that makes it a little better is being honest and having integrity when you do it.

Don’t be afraid to say sorry.

Yes, you’re sorry that it hurts your partner and soon-to-be ex that you want something else in your life. Admit it. And also acknowledge that it’s OK. You are allowed to prioritize yourself. If you keep lying to yourself, you’ll keep lying to him too.

Share Your Story

Now it’s your turn. Do you have a Karmic relationship that was just so painful? Was it one-sided? Why was it painful? Did you end it or find a way to be together and continue growing together?

Please share below because you might be helping someone else by sharing your story.

Thanks and much love,


What Does It Mean To Have A Karmic Connection With Someone?

If you’ve ever felt an irresistible and unexplainable instant connection with someone, you might have asked yourself, “Is this is a Karmic connection?”

This has happened to me on multiple occasions, both in casual relationships like a one-night stand (that turned into a few months of dating) and also in serious relationships (that ended up becoming 4-5 year affairs.) It has also happened in friendships, so I have some experience when it comes to identifying Karmic connections.

So, what does it mean to have a Karmic connection with someone?

You will know that you have a Karmic connection with someone when that connection is instant. Most often, it is an instant and unexplainable attraction towards each other, although sometimes it can also be an instant dislike between each other. It feels like the connection was always there, even before you met each other. You feel like you know each other for a long time already even though you just met.

In case it is an instant dislike between each other, this can also be a Karmic connection. This person has come into your life to help you burn Karma that you owe him or her from a past life, or to learn an important Karmic lesson. I explain both positive and negative Karmic connections below and share my personal stories of both types of connections below so keep reading.

Why Do People Have Karmic Connections?

People have Karmic connections so they can pay back Karmic debt that they owe each other from past lives or to enjoy the fruits of positive Karma they have with each other.

If it’s negative Karmic debt that they have to pay back, then the relationship that is extremely passionate but at the same time, extremely stressful. A negative Karmic connection is filled with excessive emotional highs and lows and is difficult to maintain.

If it is positive Karmic debt or Karmic credit (also known as Punya) that brought you together then the Karmic connection leads to a relationship that is harmonious and easy and can turn into a long-term relationship that is effortless to maintain.

Such a connection can help you find your Karmic soulmate and help you recognize the right life partner.

Do You Have a Negative Karmic Connection With Someone?

I have personally had two intense negative Karmic connections that taught me a lot. The first one was in high school.

I had just started at a new school in Toronto for my final year of high school and joined the student life committee. There was a girl in the committee who I instantly hated. Hate is a strong word but I truly felt repulsed by her.

I had no reason to dislike her. She hardly ever spoke to me directly. There was just something about her that got under my skin. Eventually, she did start to undermine me in front of everyone, and in one meeting, I openly started shouting at her asking “What’s wrong with you? Why are you after me?”

Looking back, my behavior was a little bit embarrassing but I don’t regret it. I had no other way to act at that moment.

The point is that I disliked her for no apparent reason. This is the strongest sign that it was a negative Karmic connection.

Knowing what I know about Karma now, I realize that she was simply mirroring my own insecurities back at me. That’s why she triggered me so much. In fact, she was much more insecure than me and that’s why I lashed out at her.

The second person I had a negative Karmic connection with was an old boss.

The moment she joined my company, I found myself in a weird situation. For the first time in my life, I couldn’t respect my boss. This was unusual for me because growing up in a South Asian culture, (I was born in Bangladesh and raised in India until age 13) you automatically respect elders and people in positions of authority higher than you.

Even though I tried my best to work together, I kept making strange subconscious decisions that pissed her off more and more. For example, once I completely forgot that we had a 1:1 meeting and stayed out for lunch so long that I missed the meeting altogether. This was obviously not OK with my boss. Then, I kept doing a “good enough” or sub-par job in my tasks and not going above and beyond in my work. It’s not like I didn’t try to do well, but my definition of a good job and hers were simply not matching up.

This was extremely frustrating for both of us.

What tells me that was a negative Karmic connection is that no matter how much I tried, I just could not bring myself to respect her. She was really good at her job, so why couldn’t I look up to her and try to learn something? There’s no explanation except that it was an old negative Karmic relationship.

Finally, after a year of trying to make it work, she eventually found a way to fire me from the company. This was my first time getting fired and if you’ve ever been fired from a job you loved, then you know how traumatic this can be.

I was completely traumatized.

It took me 6 months to bounce back and find a new job.

Even to this day and even though I live in a different country now, I get scared when I see someone that looks like her on the street because I don’t want to be face to face with her ever again.

This trauma is the final clear sign that I needed to know for sure that this is a negative Karmic connection. I must have had some Karmic debt to pay back to her and in this life, she certainly made me pay.

Where do I go from here? How do I heal this trauma?

How To Heal Trauma From Negative Karmic Connections

The best way I know how to heal trauma from a negative Karmic connection is to look at your life at the present moment and be grateful for what you have. If I ran into my old boss on the street, I’d be shocked and afraid of her because of how I was fired, but I think I’d be able to have a conversation with her instead of running away as I actually did once in the past.

Despite how cold-heartedly I was fired, I now recognize the part I played in this happening to me. Even though I may never admit this to my old boss, I know in my heart that I didn’t deliver for the company what it needed and it’s natural that the entire company needed to move on so it could get what it needed from someone else.

It’s kind of like this romantic relationship I had in high school. We simply wanted different experiences and different outcomes from one another.

How To Identify A Romantic Karmic Connection?

The biggest sign that it is a romantic Karmic connection is that it’s an instant and unexplainable attraction towards each other. It can be an instant sexual attraction or a friendly attraction. Either way, it feels like you know each other from before even though you just met for the first time. You want to spend more time together and the thought of separating from each other already feels painful.

I talk more about this in my post about Karmic Attraction.

Romantic Karmic connections quickly develop into intense relationships and how long they last depend on the Karmic debt you have with each other.

My Karmic connection ended up becoming my husband. I share the whole story in this video below.

Another way to tell whether it is a Karmic connection is that getting to know each other feels magical and being together is completely effortless. You can feel free to be yourself and reveal your deepest fears to each other.

This continues even after years of being together. The relationship is successful when both people can accept each other knowing all the weaknesses, triggers, and “shadows” of each other.

Do You Have A Karmic Connection With Someone?

Now it’s your turn. I would love to hear if you had a Karmic connection with someone and how it was for you. Was it negative or positive? Are you still with this person or did you break up? Was it with a romantic partner, a coworker or boss, or a friend? Share your story below in the comments section.

Can Karmic Relationships Ever Be Soulmates?

Have you ever wondered whether soulmates really exist? When things go so well in a new relationship and you feel like you and your new partner are two halves of the same soul, it’s easy to think that you’ve found your soulmate. The question is, can Karmic relationships be soulmates?

Yes, Karmic relationships can be soulmates. In fact, Karmic soulmates are brought together to burn Karma and make the most spiritual advancement as individuals. Since soulmates have a high degree of compatibility, they agree with each other on most things, causing fewer fights and fewer hurt feelings. They create less bad Karma with each other and these relationships often last longer. Each person in a Karmic soulmate relationship keeps progressing on his or her spiritual path until the end of his or her life.

Karmic soulmate relationships don’t always end up in marriage though. Just because it’s a Karmic soulmate relationship, doesn’t mean that nothing can ever go wrong or that there will never be a breakup. Karmic soulmates can also hurt you and sometimes you’ll have to let go of a soulmate relationship. I talk about all of this below so keep reading.

What Is The Real Meaning Of Karmic Soulmate?

A Karmic soulmate is someone you have an existing Karmic history with and have a high degree of compatibility with. Both of these conditions have to be met for it to be a Karmic soulmate relationship. You have been together in a past life and feel comfortable being yourself in each other’s presence. You match each other’s sexual energy, whether it is high or low, and you have a lot of respect for each other. Most importantly, you match each other spiritually and are likely to be on the same spiritual path.

Other signs that you have found your Karmic soulmate are:

  1. You fall in love with each other very quickly
  2. You say “I love you” within days of getting together and you have no hesitation about it
  3. Your Karmic soulmate comes into your life at the right time in your life journey
  4. The relationship is often peaceful and enjoyable for long periods of time
  5. Karmic soulmate relationships can feel “too good to be true”
  6. Kamic soulmates often trigger each other and bring up personal Karmic issues that one has to deal with
  7. They provide more opportunities to work on oneself spiritually
  8. Karmic soulmates help us to learn important spiritual lessons that help us grow on the soul level

Personal Story Of How I Met My Karmic Soulmate

I’ll share my personal story about how my husband and I got together. Even though we were both brought up in modern non-traditional families, it was almost like an arranged marriage. We met on a group trip with mutual friends and stayed in touch casually. Two years later, when the time was right in both of our lives, we reconnected and decided to meet again.

This time around, since the timing was right, we hit it off immediately. Within three days we decided to get engaged. My parents weren’t even shocked or worried even though they had just met him because even they could tell that we were right for each other and were very well matched.

In less than a year since meeting the second time, we were married. It hasn’t been that long that we’re together, only 4 years in fact, but it’s incredible that it still works between us.

This is what I mean when I say that sometimes it feels “too good to be true.”

I don’t want you to think that my relationship and my life is all sunshine and rainbows, however. Getting married to my Karmic “soulmate” has initiated one of the most challenging phases of my entire life. Because of my marriage, I moved to a new country, paused my career to be a full-time mom, and made countless other big and small sacrifices. I went through two clinical depressive episodes, spent thousands in therapy, and had some of the biggest fights I’ve ever had with a partner.

Despite all of this, I know that this is a worthwhile relationship because of the amount of spiritual growth I’ve had since committing to this relationship. Precisely because of these challenges, all of my deepest darkest shadow came to the surface and I was forced to deal with it. I got the chance to find my power and take control of my mood, my future, and my life.

Yes, it’s true that my husband still triggers me often, but now I am more aware of what my triggers are. Even when he pushes my buttons, and even when I immediately react and snap back at him, I can calm down very quickly and come back to myself. When I am calm again, I can see exactly what inside me caused me to react that way.

It’s like my partner is a mirror that helps me see deep within myself.

Do Karmic Soulmates Have A Spiritual Connection?

By default, Karmic soulmates have a spiritual connection. The purpose of a Karmic soulmate relationship is to help each other progress and grow spiritually. Each person will often trigger the other and force all of their deeply hidden issues to come up to the surface. They force each other to look within themselves and clean up their internal baggage.

In a Karmic soulmate relationship, you tend to love and respect your partner more than in other types of relationships. So, it’s natural that you learn that towards yourself as well.

That’s the main purpose of a Karmic soulmate relationship – to help you see yourself more clearly and learn to love and respect yourself which is, in reality, a spiritual journey.

Do Both Soulmates Feel The Connection?

Yes, both soulmates in a Karmic relationship will feel the connection with equal intensity. When the timing is right, they will be undeniably attracted to each other, which can be sexual or not, and both will feel it in the same way.

Timing is everything here, and it is the Universe that’s in control of this timing. As I mentioned in my personal story above, I met my husband a full two years before I felt any conscious attraction towards him. I had to go on my own spiritual journey and recover from a breakup in those two years, and he had to go through his own relationship discovery journey at the same time.

Once we had made enough spiritual progress and had healed ourselves enough, we were spiritually ready for each other and more than ready to start the next phase in our lives as a married couple.

Do Karmic Soulmates Always Get Married?

Karmic soulmates may or may not get married. It depends on the spiritual and life lessons that the two souls need to learn. Since marriage is one of the most difficult undertakings that people can enter into in their lives, if it’s in the soul’s plan to get married and have that experience, then yes, they will likely get married.

If the two souls can learn the Karmic and spiritual lessons they need to without getting married, then they won’t get married.

Karmic soulmates have a lot in common and are highly compatible. That’s why they tend to respect each other more and create less Karma together. The purpose of Karmic soulmates is to be mirrors to each other and help each other see within themselves. There are more opportunities for this within a marriage since you spend more time together and face more life challenges together, not to mention raising kids together which brings up all sorts of triggers.

Can Karmic Soulmate Relationships Last?

Karmic soulmate relationships often last a very long time. Because Karmic soulmates are more compatible and have a high degree of respect for each other, they can peacefully resolve most conflicts and learn the lessons from each fight quickly. This makes them more likely to stick together long-term instead of parting ways quickly.

I personally know an elderly couple who are Karmic soulmates. They have been married for more than 40 years and have no kids together. After retirement they considered splitting up because they thought they don’t have the same love for each other as they did when they were younger.

They sought the advice of their spiritual teacher who said why break up at this age if they don’t intend on being with anyone else? He recommended they stay together and continue their own individual spiritual journeys while still being together as a married couple.

This is an example of Karmic soulmates who are together until the end of their lives, continuously helping each other progress on their spiritual paths.

Do Karmic Soulmates Breakup?

Yes, Karmic soulmates do breakup when the Karma between them is finished and they are no longer helping each other progress on their individual spiritual paths.

No matter how similar Karmic soulmates are and how compatible they are, when the Karma between them is finished, they will get an opportunity to part ways.

When To Know That It’s Over With Your Karmic Soulmate?

You will know that it’s over with your Karmic soulmate when it feels like you have drastically different goals for your life and spiritual destiny. These goals go beyond things like career goals, travel goals, entertainment goals, or having similar milestone goals as your friend circle.

When you have very different spiritual goals, that’s a big sign that it’s over with your Karmic soulmate. For example, when I had to end the Karmic relationship that I talk about in this post, my biggest sign was this mismatch in our spiritual goals. At the time, my goal was to progress spiritually as a couple and to have faith and God as a big part of my life. In contrast, his goal was more oriented towards his career, travel, friends, and having more new experiences in his life.

How To Let Go Of A Karmic Soulmate?

The easiest way to let go of a Karmic soulmate is to pay back your Karmic debt to him or her as quickly as possible. When the Karma between you two is finished, you are free to let go of each other and part ways.

I talk about this in detail in my post about How to end Karmic Relationships but I’ll summarize the important parts here.

You can let go of a Karmic soulmate by:

  1. Burning your Karma fast using the methods described in this post: How To Get Rid Of Bad Karma, Fast
  2. Burning your Karma through meditation. Tip: check out my meditation tracks here
  3. Using power phrases to end painful Karmic relationships like “Enough!” and “Stop now!”
  4. Declaring to your partner, “You are not allowed to treat me that way!”
  5. Living life fully on your own terms
  6. Not avoiding confrontation as they give you a chance to burn your Karma
  7. Again, burn Karma through meditation

Do Karmic Soulmates Come Back?

In my experience, once you’ve let go of each other, a Karmic soulmate is not likely to come back into your life in this lifetime. You got the opportunity to meet each other once and start a relationship. You helped each other burn old Karma and also progress on your individual spiritual paths. You have been mirrors to each other to help each other see deep within yourselves and work on your issues. And finally, you have parted ways because the Karma between you two is now finished.

There is no reason left for your Karmic soulmate to come back because the main purpose of this relationship is now fulfilled.

However, let’s say that you have both made a lot of spiritual progress since you split and now are in a position to help each other progress further on your spiritual path. In this case, there is a chance that your Karmic soulmate will come back into your life and you’ll be in a relationship once again.

Have You Met Your Karmic Soulmate Yet?

Now I’d like to hear from you. Have you met your Karmic soulmate? How did you know that they were the one? What were the signs that told you you found your Karmic soulmate? Did you feel the connection right away? How long did your relationship last? Did you ever think about breaking up with your Karmic soulmate?

I can’t wait to hear your experience and to read your story. So please comment below and share your story.

With love,


Still Regret Breaking Up With Your Ex?

If you find yourself wondering whether you get bad Karma for breaking someone’s heart, then there’s a good chance that you’re still carrying a lot of guilt and regret in your heart about it. 

Regret and guilt about breaking up with an ex go hand in hand. They affect your current and future relationships and cause problems in your relationships and will continue to do so until you resolve your guilt and regret. Because you feel guilty about breaking someone’s heart in the past, you’ll keep sabotaging your new relationships. This is because you subconsciously believe that you’re not good enough to deserve a loving and fulfilling new relationship because of what you did in the past. 

These false beliefs need to be dissolved so that your future relationships can be successful. Taking action to resolve your guilt and regret will in turn help you to dissolve these false beliefs. There are two specific steps you can take to free yourself from this guilt and regret which I describe in detail below, so keep reading.  

Is It Normal To Feel Regret After Breaking Up?

If you’ve ever felt regret for breaking up with an ex or for breaking someone’s heart, you are not alone. Many people carry guilt and regret around for years and decades about how they broke someone’s heart or hurt someone they loved in the past. If you feel that you hurt your ex a lot, then the feeling of your regret will be heavier. Even when you don’t feel much, if you created a lot of negative Karma during the breakup, then the feeling of regret will remain until your Karma is worked out. 

I personally felt a lingering regret in the back of my mind for 17 years and you can read my story on this post here. This caused me a lot of emotional, physical, and financial setbacks until I finally acknowledged that I was carrying this regret in my mind and heart. Only after acknowledging it did I realize that it was holding me back and causing problems in my health, in my new relationships, and also in my career. 

How Long Do You Feel Bad After Breaking Up With Someone

There are lots of stats around how long it takes someone to feel better after being dumped like 3 months and 11 days, but what about when you are the one who broke up and feel guilty about it? How long does it take you to truly get over the guilt of breaking up with someone you once loved? 

It may not take you very long to get over breaking up with someone and start to date again. In fact, maybe that’s why you broke up in the first place, because you wanted to have a new relationship and new experiences with other people. But what about the guilt that’s still under the surface? 

When you break up with someone and break someone’s heart, you create negative Karma. You will continue to carry this and pay for this Karma until you pay it back. This could take as long as a few months, 1 year, 10 years or even 20 years. For me it took 17 years to be clear of the Karma from breaking the heart of my first boyfriend

When you don’t get a chance to dissolve this Karma in your current lifetime, it will carry over to your next lifetime. The good news is that the Universe will always give you a chance to pay it back and be clear of your Karmic debt. There are also ways that you can speed this process up and burn your Karma quickly which I’ve shared below the next section, so keep reading.

Signs That You Regret Breaking Up With Someone

  1. Just like when you fall in love and can’t stop thinking about the person, the first sign that you are carrying a lot of regret is that you keep thinking about your ex non-stop. You’ll imagine you saw them walking down the street, other people will start to look like your ex. You’ll wonder if you’ll bump into them or you contemplate on sending a text just to say hi, hope you’re OK. 
  2. A more subtle sign is that you feel blocked in your heart when it comes to new relationships and can’t open your heart and make yourself vulnerable. You lack trust that this time it will work out and this time you won’t end up hurting him or her. You hold yourself back and you might even try to sabotage the relationship. 
  3. You’re blocked in your creativity and in your career. You can’t seem to find your life purpose and are in a state of avoidance. This is a sign that your guilt and regret about the breakup is lingering in your sub-conscience and until you take an action about it, like saying sorry to your ex, it won’t go away.

What To Do If You Regret Breaking Up With Your Ex

These are two specific steps to resolve your guilt and regret about breaking up with someone and at the same time dissolve your Karma around it. 

These steps have to be taken in order. 

First, you have to identify the intensity of your guilt and regret about breaking up. Here’s how to do it: 

  1. Make a list of the 10 most painful things that you have guilt and regret about. Since you’re reading this post, I’m going to guess that a past breakup is going to be high on this list. 
  2. Rank the entire list, 1-10, 1 being the most difficult one. 
  3. If the regret and guilt are in the top 3, then you must take action to get rid of it by saying sorry within the next 7-10 days. 
  4. Until you say sorry to your ex, these feelings of regret won’t go away and you will continue to be blocked in your future relationships, life, and career. 

Now that you’re identified what you need to do, how do you actually say sorry? I wrote a whole post on this that takes you through it step-by-step. Read it here.

You can also watch the video below for some tips on this. 

Does Sex Create Karma?

Do your sexuality and past sexual experiences create negative Karma and have an effect on your current relationships, health, and life success? I have been thinking about this topic intensely for the last few weeks and I share my personal story about how my sexuality and Karma affected each other at the end of this post. What I have learned through my research and exploration might shock you.

Yes, your sexuality and past sexual experiences do create Karma but it is not always “bad” Karma. The intention behind your past sexual acts with other people is what determines whether your Karma is good or bad. Were you using sex to take advantage of someone? If yes, then you created a lot of bad Karma for yourself. If it was consensual and mutually pleasurable, and you gave as much as you took in that sexual exchange, then you created good Karma or neutralized your previous Karmic debt with that person.

How Does Having Sex Create Karma?

Every single relationship you engage in creates Karma. It could also be that you’re in a new relationship because of the past Karma you have with someone. This applies to casual sexual relationships, one night stands, long-term relationships, and even relationships within the workplace and your extended family and friends network.

So yes, having sex creates Karma.

Having sex can also burn old Karma.

Now, how does that work?

Let’s say in your past life you were with someone and you were a “taker”. You always took more than you gave. You were happy to finish first without putting in the work to help your partner finish. You wanted it more often than your partner did and they felt pressured to please you all the time.

Now in this life, you have come together again with the same soul and finally, you get a chance to pay back everything extra that you took. This time around, you do it differently. This time you serve the other person first. You spend the extra time to pleasure your partner and you do it selflessly without thinking about when it will be your turn. In this way, you pay back and neutralize your old Karma with that person.

How Does Having Sex Create Negative Karma

Any time that there is even a hint of (non-consensual) violence and one-sidedness in sex, it creates a lot of bad Karma.

This obviously applies to rape and pedophilia and also to marital rape and other forms of coercive sex. In these cases the Karma is very heavy.

You can also create light Karma when you use sex to manipulate someone, hurt someone’s feelings, or just have a bad intention about how you use sex.

Is it Karmically or Spiritually Bad To Be Very Sexual?

No, it is not Karmically or spiritually “bad” to be sexual. Some of the most spiritual people I know are very sexual, in the sense that they carry a lot of sexual charm. They have a lot of sex appeal.

To me, sex appeal means that their personality appeals to the innermost primal part of your consciousness. This is very sexual and somehow very pure at the same time because it’s just so intense.

If you look at some of the gods and goddesses in Hindu and Greek mythology, you can’t deny their sex appeal. Take Aphrodite and Apollo for example, or Parvati and Shiva.

Having a lot of sexuality or a little is very individual. For example, some people have a big appetite for food and some people don’t really. It’s similar with sexuality and we shouldn’t judge it.

In spirituality, people often have a belief that being sexual is bad. I don’t believe this anymore.

Having harsh judgements towards ourselves for being sexual can cause a lot of problems physically, emotionally, and psychologically. These problems act as blocks in your life to keep you from moving forward, finding meaningful work and/or your life purpose, and feeling fulfilled in life.

I have personally had intense physical illnesses because I judged myself for being sexual. My self-judgement has also held me back in my work and creativity. I’ll share my personal story below so keep reading.

Is Sex Karmically And Spiritually Pure?

Yes, sex can be spiritually very pure. Like I said above, when you have sex, if you come at it with the attitude of giving rather than taking, then it can be a very pure experience. That’s why it’s called making Love. Can you think of anything purer than Love?

Just think of when you had sex with someone you loved very much, and they loved you back. Don’t discount the physical pleasure and think of the emotional and spiritual feelings you got as well. Wasn’t there purity in that interaction? Wasn’t there vulnerability and innocence in it?

There are great lessons we can learn from saints about the connection of sexuality and spirituality. My favorite saints in this area are:

  1. Saint Mary of Egypt
  2. Mary Magdalene
  3. Saint Kanhopatra

My Personal Story About How Judging My Sexuality Held Me Back

For years, I had judged myself for my sexuality and had tried to push it down. I rejected this part of me completely. This caused some serious health issues in my body.

I developed vulvodynia, which is chronic pain in the vulva, that lasted for months. This is a common but not so often talked about health condition that affects 16% of women in the United States alone. Even though it is very difficult to diagnose because it doesn’t show up in any tests or as an infection, trust me, it’s real. And it’s painful.

I managed to heal myself from the most painful effects vulvodynia and I’m still on a healing journey.

Another area of my life where my judgment of my own sexuality hurt me a lot was in my creativity and in my work. Because I was in complete denial of my own sexuality, my sexual power, and my own sexiness, I suppressed it. When you suppress such a deep and primal part of yourself and deny yourself this power that is so natural to you, you will also end up suppressing your other natural God-given talents.

I was so blocked in my creativity that couldn’t write in this blog for years nor create new videos for my YouTube channel. Since this is my work, I was completely blocked in my career as well.

How Did I Stop Judging My Sexuality? (Personal Story)

Through a long process of self-discovery, I realized that I stopped allowing my sexuality after a breakup years ago. I blocked myself even more and more through misunderstanding many spiritual concepts as I went along my journey.

I’m still working on the spiritual understanding of Karma and sex but I’ll share the story of the breakup with you here.

In my early 20s, I had a short but intense relationship and went through a not-so-dramatic but deeply scarring breakup.

That’s when I started to shut down my sexuality.

Since that time I blamed the guy for “taking advantage of me”. I was convinced that I was innocent and naive. I believed that he saw a young girl who had a huge crush on him and wanted to see how far he could take it. 

In reality, I now realize that wanted to “have him” more than he wanted me. When I think about it now, I was attracted to him not because of his power, or his looks, or his money, but because of his innocence and vulnerability. 

The sex was amazing and I got just as much out of it as he did, if not more. Now, more than a decade later, I see that we were quite equal in that aspect. 

Finally after more than 15 years, I realize that he didn’t take advantage of me more than I did of him. 

Here is where the problem started.

It was a relationship that didn’t work out no matter how sexy I was, or how good the sex was. In my young mind, my sexuality just didn’t work to keep us together, so I thought my sexuality is good for nothing. I slowly started to tone it down until eventually, I disowned a big part of myself.

It was only after realizing this and accepting it could I start to own my sexuality again.

Now that I’m starting to own it and learn more about it without judgement or fear, I am starting to see that there is hope. My creativity is returning and my career is becoming more solidified. My health is improving and will continue to improve.

Your Turn

Have you repressed your sexuality in one way or another? The quickest way to know is to check whether your creativity is blocked or not. If you are not flowing and productive and can’t take real steps towards your goals, then you might be denying your sexuality.

Please share your story in the comments below. You will be helping others with the same struggle.