Everything happens for a reason.
I knew this in my bones when I was little. Like when I first left my middle school all my friends in India to move to Canada at the age of 13, even though I was sad and would cry at night, I knew it happened for a reason. The reason was my new best friend Melina, and when I fell in love for the first time with a boy who didn’t even know I existed. My love for Melina and for that boy and for all the surreal and subtle joys of being a 13 year old was the reason why it all happened.
I forgot this as I grew older trying to CREATE reasons and started trying to MAKE (and sometimes force) things to happen. This lead mainly to pain and sadness for a long time until I started meditating and started noticing that the Universe was supporting me and I could slowly start to trust again. Then, something happened when I was in training to become an Atma Kriya Yoga teacher that reminded me that everything happens for a reason.
You see, Atma Kriya yoga comes from a long lineage of masters and by long, I mean over 5,000 years long. If you read the book Autobiography of a Yogi, then you will get an idea of how big a deal this is. When I was in my teacher training course, I couldn’t accept the fact that I, little me, just an average girl, had been accepted to become a teacher of Kriya yoga. I just didn’t feel worthy. I felt almost like I was being disrespectful by trying to become a teacher of Atma Kriya yoga and I felt I was not capable of upholding this old lineage that comes down directly from Mahavatar Babaji and Premavatar Sri Swami Vishwananda. My doubt and fear drove me to tears a few times and I just didn’t trust myself. I kept saying to myself “But I’m not good enough! How can I possibly represent the teachings of such great masters? Why me?”
Then slowly, through the tears, I had a revelation. I realized that my teachers and Swami Vishwananda had personally approved my application and even though I didn’t trust myself to spread his teachings, HE did. He trusted me. He had faith in me that I would be a good Atma Kriya Yoga teacher even though my own mind was trying to convince me of something different. I can think of events in my life from the past TWO YEARS (like this one) that have lead me to being in that exact course at that exact time which tells me that the Universe trusts that I can handle it.
I needed to start to trust in myself as well.
You and I are here on this Earth for a reason. You are here reading this blog for a reason. Everything in your life has happened for a reason, even if it isn’t clear now. Just trust it and surrender to it.
If we do find that trust and if we do let go and surrender, then we may get a taste of the innocence and pure joy that the 13 year old Ritu in love tasted.
(The 29 year old) Ritu