Bad Karma For Breaking Someone’s Heart


Breaking up is not easy for some people, and I am one of those people. But I did have to break up with someone in the past and I wondered whether I would get bad Karma for breaking up with him and for breaking his heart.

If you’re wondering whether you get bad Karma for breaking someone’s heart, the short answer is yes, you do. Every time you hurt someone’s feelings, you get bad Karma. But the long answer is that it depends on the Karmic history you have together. It could be that your Karma together as a couple is simply finished and you have no reason to be together anymore. Maybe it’s time to break up, nicely, like I did this one time and part ways.

In this situation, it is natural to part ways. It could also be that this person had broken your heart in a past life and you are simply, Karmically, getting even. Don’t think of it as getting even in a mean way but more like balancing your Karma so that you can both be free. There’s more to it though, so let me explain with a few personal stories that will show you how Karma works and what the Karmic books say about this.

It can happen in this life itself and if you’re wondering if your ex will get bad Karma for breaking your heart, then read my story about it here.

Many people act like their actions have no consequences, but you and I both know that there are always consequences and that every action has a reaction. This is a law of Karma that is just as real as the law of physics that says for every action there is a reaction of equal force. That means for everything you do to another person, especially in a break-up situation, or if you cheat on them, or when you have to break someone’s heart, there is a Karmic consequence and a Karmic debt is created.

You will eventually have to pay back this Karmic debt. But don’t get scared because there’s a good reason behind it.

Do you get bad Karma for breaking someone’s heart?

If you break someone’s heart, when you truly hurt someone’s feelings, this will come back to you. The most common way that it will come back to you is that you will have to feel the exact same pain that you caused the other person in almost the exact same way. It happened to me before and I can speak from experience that you will have to be in the place of the person who broke your heart and get your heart broken in the exact same way.

It’s not just a fancy quote, it’s a fact. You will never understand the damage you did to someone else until the same is done to you.

You will never understand the damage you did to another person until the same is done to you. - Karma quotes

Why do you have to go through the same karma that you caused?

Well, it’s simple. The rule of Karma goes like this: You get what you give. So if you’ve caused the experience of breaking someone’s heart, you get your own heart broken. And the amazing thing is that it will happen to you almost in the exact same way that you did it to the other person.

When you read my own story of Karma in a romantic relationship, you will see that my heart was broken in almost the exact same way that I broke someone else’s heart more than 10 years before and I had to go through the same heartache as I had caused. It took me more than 2 years to heal from that heartbreak and I realize now that it had probably taken my ex from 10 years ago about the same amount of time to heal from the heartbreak I had caused.

But why does this happen?

I think that this happens because humans are experiential learners. When we experience something, the wisdom from that goes deep within us and integrates with our consciousness. This type of learning and understanding is much deeper than anything we can read in a book or hear a story about.

I believe that we choose to come to this planet to have experiences. We want to experience all that life has to offer because it is through experiences that we get the deepest understanding. Experience is worth a lot and that’s why senior managers earn more than young employees – because they have experience that they gained over a much longer period of time and through many more life and work experiences.

When we experience heartbreak in the same way that we gave someone a broken heart, we get to experience the other side of the story. This helps us to finally understand what we did and what kind of effect our actions had on another person.

What if the other person has broken your heart too?

What if you didn’t cold-heartedly break-up with someone just like that out of the blue? What if you had a good reason for it like the other person had already hurt you many times before you broke his or her heart?

Everything has a limit and there is a limit to how much you could take as well, so it is natural that after being hurt a certain number of times, you got fed up and decided to break things off for good. Of course, that’s totally acceptable, but there is still a consequence for your final action. The only way I can explain this is with a personal story.

My story of getting my heart broken

This goes back to the original story I shared about karma in relationships with my ex-boyfriend. We had dated for about 5 years, on and off. I had originally asked him out when I was 14. I was very innocent back then and quite naive and he was a jock, very masculine, and his closest friends were the cool athletic guys in school.

After our summer break when we didn’t see each other at all, we came back to school and he broke up with me right away. I was 15 at the time, and to be honest, it did break my heart a little. I thought that I had given him so much and he just didn’t like me enough to want to be a couple or maybe his friends didn’t think I was cool enough.

Later in that school year, we somehow got back together again. I don’t remember who asked who out this time around but we were older and there was much more physical attraction between us this time around. But again, we broke up at the end of the year. Maybe because I didn’t want to come back to school after summer and get my heart broken again by him, or it was just a mutual decision, I don’t remember. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t hurt me or that it didn’t break my heart all over again.

At the end of our final year in high-school, we got back together again and we decided to go to the same university. Once we were in university, suddenly I was exposed to so many new people, new social circles, and met new interesting guys who didn’t just fit into the jock or nerd category but were much more interesting and multidimensional. Suddenly I wanted to experience more than what my reliable and predictable high-school boyfriend could provide. So, towards the end of our first semester at university, I broke up with him.

I know it crushed him.

I know it broke his heart into a million pieces.

I know that I hurt him beyond words can describe.

And I know that because, 10 years later, I experienced the same heartbreak from someone else.

Do all the small heartbreaks he caused me throughout high school justify the big one I caused him in university? No, they don’t. I believe he had already paid back his Karmic debt for those little heartbreaks through fights that we had had and through the process of breaking up and getting back together over and over again.

My friends tried to justify my final act of the big breakup by saying, “But he was so mean to you in high-school!” but in my heart, I know the real reason I broke up with him in the end. I wanted more experiences in dating and I wanted to meet new people who I could have those experiences with.

That was the root cause of the final breakup. And that’s the Karma I carried with me until it came back around and I had to go through another breakup with someone else where he wanted new experiences rather than being in a reliable and predictable relationship with me.

So you see how all the little heartbreaks don’t justify the big one in the end because if I was 100% honest, I didn’t break off our relationship completely at the end because of the added up pain from all the little breakups. I did it because of a completely different reason and therefore the Karma is unrelated to the little breakups.

What if you have a good reason for breaking someone’s heart?

I’m sure you’re not an evil person and you’re not just breaking someone’s heart for fun. You have a good reason for it like not being into the other person as much as they are into you, outgrowing the other person, or another valid reason. That’s totally OK but (unfortunately) you will still get Karma from this breakup.

You might think that this is unfair because after all, you have a good reason for doing this. Maybe the relationship just doesn’t work for you anymore. Maybe it hurts more to stay in it than to get out of it. And that’s all totally OK. The reason why you will still get Karma from it is because of what I said earlier.

“You will never understand the damage you did to someone else until the same is done to you.”

Karma quotes - You will never understand the damage you did to another person until the same is done to you.

It doesn’t make you a bad person. You simply have to experience the same breakup but from the other side in order to get the full picture. It might take some time until it comes back to you and you will get the chance to experience it from the other side. For me, it took 10 years but eventually I had the chance to experience what I did to my ex, first hand.

I really mean this and you need to trust me when I say: You are not a bad person for the Karma you create from breaking someone’s heart. Even if you have hurt someone a lot because of this breakup or have had your heart broken terribly, you are not a bad person for it.

Think of it like an equation that needs to be balanced out on both sides. That’s how Karma works. For everything “good” you’ve done, you’ll get the same goodness back and for everything “bad” you’ve done, you’ll get the bad stuff back.

That’s the good news. Karma doesn’t pick sides. It will return the good and the bad back to you equally.

How can you get rid of Karma if you’ve already broken someone’s heart?

Unfortunately, you can’t get completely rid of your karma but you can certainly speed up the time it takes for you to pay back your Karmic debt. The best way to pay back the Karmic debt you owe to someone is by asking for forgiveness from that person. This can be done in two ways:

  1. Asking in person or contacting the person to ask for forgiveness
  2. Asking for forgiveness in your heart, but really truly feeling sorry about it first so you mean it

Asking for forgiveness to get rid of Karma

If you are going to ask someone for forgiveness in person, or in a message or email, then you have to be ready to receive some bitterness back. On one hand, the best case scenario is that it will be pleasant and you will say sorry, and the other person will say “It’s OK. It happened for a reason. Let’s forget it. It’s nice to hear from you by the way. Glad to hear that you’re doing well.”

On the other hand, they could still be holding onto resentment towards you and will react negatively towards you after receiving your message. They may decide to highlight all the ways that you hurt them, tell you all of their reasons why you are a bad person and what you did to them long ago was bad. They may spin it in a way that they were the dumb one to allow you to hurt them so badly, which is basically a passive-aggressive way to tell you that it’s all your fault and they are still not over it.

If this happens then the last thing you want to do is to go into defense mode and try to defend yourself. Do your best just to hear the other person out, give them an opportunity to vent and air out their feelings and then respond with something very short like, “I understand and I mean it when I say sorry. Wishing you all the best.” Just keep it short. The other person might get even angrier but they will get the hint that you just wanted to apologize and not necessarily reopen old wounds and start a new fight. If they message you again with something rude, just ignore it.

karma quotes - in the end, karma will be a bigger bitch than I'll ever need to be.

I have to be honest and say that I have not yet asked for forgiveness in person, face-to-face. The thought of it makes me really nervous and seeing the person from my past may awaken feelings that I don’t want to deal with anymore. I have messaged ex-boyfriends asking for forgiveness and also old friends who I knew I had hurt and it went both ways as I mentioned above.

Getting rid of Karma by saying sorry in your heart

The second method of speeding up balancing your Karmic debt is by asking for forgiveness in your heart. If you’ve read the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, you will know that she had used this method when resolving her conflict with her ex-husband, and according to the book, it worked.

The key to this method is to truly and honestly feel sorry in your heart and to feel the remorse of having hurt another person. Often you feel this when you go through a similar experience of heartbreak that you caused the other person. When that happens, you automatically feel true and honest remorse in your heart. When you feel it, you can go into meditation and after your meditation, you can take a moment to visualize yourself in front of the other person, and then tell them you are sorry. (If you’ve never meditated before and need some guidance, check out my Simply Meditation Online course.)

I have tried this method before and I know it works. I had been struggling to let go of my guilt about treating an ex-boyfriend in a certain way. I was struggling with this so much that I even had a cranio-sacral therapy session to deal with my feelings.

In the session, as I went into a meditative state, I came face-to-face with him and had to communicate with him so that I would have a deeper understanding of what was causing me the guilt and whether it was a legitimate reason or whether I was taking on something that wasn’t even an issue from his side.

After this meditation, I felt relieved from this burden I had been carrying around for 4 years and was finally able to let go and be free from that guilt. I believe that by “meeting” my ex in meditation and asking saying sorry in my heart helped to dissolve this particular Karma I had with him because I finally came to an understanding of why what happened between us had to happen.

So, you see that even if you have bad Karma for breaking someone’s heart, you also have many ways in which to balance your Karmic debt and make things right again.

Now I want to hear from you. Do you feel like you have bad Karma for breaking someone’s heart? What did you do and how do you feel that the Karma is affecting your life now? Put it in the comments below.

If you think that this post might help someone who is struggling with guilt from breaking up with someone, please forward it to them. You might be helping ease someone’s pain more than you know.

Ritu

Ritu is an Atma Kriya Yoga and meditation teacher. A long time blogger and writer, she writes about personal development, spirituality, and meditation.

71 thoughts on “Bad Karma For Breaking Someone’s Heart

  1. I am feeling the burden of being in a relationship with someone I no longer
    Love.I am an empathy and also I was scared of karma.thank you

    1. I am an empath too and I understand how you might be feeling. It is a bit scary, I get it. But if you no longer love the person, you have to do what is right for both of you in the relationship. Is it fair to the other person that they should unknowingly be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love them? Think about it. In the end, if you do it with respect, then even breaking up will be a good thing. Eventually, if the karma comes back to you in the same way, at least you will also receive the same respect. It could also be that you are simply getting even with this person from a past life.

      1. I’m totally heartbroken,i cannot even imagine,how life would be like without him,I’m in a living relationship with someone who means a world to me,my love & care is always been genuine for him,we had a plenty tym together since past 2 yrs,but not everyone first love end up with happy Go lucky,as tym flew away I can observe the distance creating between us,he started chatting around with every othr girls through social media,he also used to get touch with his ex whom he had a deep connection with,he used to say he already get over it,every other day I was dying,but I cannot even let my tears out,I endured pain since 1 yr,with a pretty hope that one day things gonna turn into right,I was wrong,I should have to be honest towards itself, I always knew that my present is ruining every thing for itself,I was stuck in the middle of to take decision between what I should have to do & and what I want to do, Ultimately things getting bad to worst during lockdown most specifically,and that was our last phase of toxicity,I burst out finally and forced him to reveal the truth because I knew it he won’t say anything neither will react, but I was the only one who was burning,he was such a peculiar mysterious guy, reserved nature,so I came to realize that it is me only to coped with,and what the darkness truth I heard from him is I was never attractive to him physically. All I found in this relationship is mysterious untold heartbroken sorrow. While I always been loyal & true to him.it was my first experience,of how it feels like to be in actually love and pain. I hope I’ll be getting feedback from your side.thank you.

        1. Dear Nimin,
          Thanks for sharing your story. The first heartbreak is the deepest – it’s my own experience, not just lyrics from a country song. I know it feels impossible right now but can you find a place in your heart to just say “thank you for making it easier for me to let you go”? He is clearly not the right one for you. The ONE would never say that to you because you would match on the heart level and also the physical level – which is very important in a longterm healthy relationship. Your Mr. Right is waiting for you! I just know it.

  2. This whole post is horrible. How can you write such an article when people completely tormenting themselves for maybe wanting to leave a toxic relationship are just trying to reassure themselves. It’s about INTENT. You get karma from the intent you put into things. If you intend to leave someone lovingly and from your heart, you’re putting that intention into the universe and that’s what you will receive. This whole thing is so off

    1. The whole post talks about getting back what you put out. If your intent was loving, then you’ll get the same thing back. So, maybe, someday in the future, someone will lovingly breakup with you too. So, you’re right actually. The post also says that maybe that person broke up with you in the same way in a past life and that’s why you are breaking up with them in this way now. Either way, it’s all about balancing out actions.

      1. Hello Ritu,

        I loved your blog. I truly believe in the Krama. Though I have something to share and ask you a few questions in regards to. However, right now I tried to understand that when you said: ” that person broke up with you in the same way in a past life and that’s why you are breaking up with them in this way now.” So. my question is that how would you know that in the past life who broke up with who first? Since right now both are feeling hurt.

        1. Hi Raks, thanks for your question. Even though you are both hurting right now, the pain that your ex caused you is the exact pain you caused your ex in a past life. On the other hand, if you’re both feeling the pain now, then in a past life you broke up with each other and caused each other pain on the same level. It doesn’t really matter who broke up with who first. What matters more is the amount of pain that was caused, meaning the amount of karma that was created, and whether you were about to forgive the other person or not.

        2. My ex raped my soul during break up. She planned it and practiced a night before on her dreams.

          I literally spent the whole relationship being an ascended master and personal healer for her, I didn’t judge her, I loved her unconditionally even though she was 100% driven by ego…. She told me I am her twinflame and I bought it.

          I was not her TF, I was her victim #501. Lie after lie after lie, manipulation, cheating, stealing, she maybe thought I was like her other ex’s…. so “she did it before it would be done on her” (I would NEVER could do such things to ANYBODY, specially the person I love). She used me in every possible way. I helped her heal but she was projecting all of her shadow on me and started taking it on against me for things that were not even happening, it was all on her mind. She was punishing me for the things her 500 ex’s did to her in the past. I didn’t set any boundary because she wouldn’t take it so I was just an open heart without personal power. She drained every piece of my soul.

          She came with cocodrile tears 5 minutes after break up and attacked me silently when I turned and I just literally froze due to the fear. I felt the vibe of a knife and her eyes were full of rage. I thought that was going to be my last day on Earth. Source told me that her wound was bleeding. I paralyzed, couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. The person I’ve loved the most was in front of me in a very violent representation, probably going to kill me. I know she was recording me, and I had kept a strong practice of not reacting for over 2 years. To anyone or anything, extreme meditation training. We just came back from a 10-day silence and meditation course!! Our 5th together!!

          By the moment she did this I felt more love than EVER before in my entire life. Unconditional love BOOM! I started seeing a golden light shining on my heart SOOOOO lucidly that I panicked, I was getting enlightened, right there in my room! I was the Buddah in the room and was surely not ready for that no one told me I was going to be enlightened at 30!! She was soo jealous of me, I thought she was going to kill me for being enlightened. The months before I started to develop extreme compassion for her, it was a process of compassion and lovingly detachment. My heart was extremely pure at the moment.

          We both work with energy but she works in lower vibrations. Since time was passing by and I was not reacting, she SOMEHOW took some (energetic) snakes out of her head, like Medusa. I’ve never seen such things and was extremely confused.

          Time stopped. Literally. Matrix movie was nothing next to this. Source said, if you show her love right now you’re going to have the absolutely best relationship of your entire life. And I was like WTF? She’s gonna kill me. I cannot show love! Last time I showed love to someone that was violent and wounded she hit me in the heart

          The mind appeared.
          I went from a vibration of enlightenment to fear in just a second. Source and mind started to talk at the same time, I was losing my mind while paralyzed. Couldn’t move, couldn’t speak.

          What she wanted was my reaction. She’s an energy vampire. She fed from me every single day, specially through sex and dreams.

          The karma wheel appeared, I saw it!! it was inside of me but this was all happening in simultaneous realities and dimensions, this didn’t happen “here”. LIFE asked me, what are you going to do? Will you show love? To your love? Or will you allow somebody else to take her?

          Omg I was so scared. That day I realized I’ve never acted in my life, I’ve just witnessed like a scary child. And so I thought I had no time…

          Ego asked me to test her.
          I couldn’t believe all of that was real, it was like a battle between DARK BLACK darkness against an angel. This situation was extremely dark.

          And so I decided to gift her my enlightenment, it didn’t happen 100% but I really wanted her to see her “betrayal” wound when she would show / post the recording.

          Huge pieces of glass exploded on my chest, that’s one of the most painful experiences I’ve lived. The karma wheel reset. It was like it was a fire inside and outside of me. Like Khali. My soul popped out of my stomach, I saw it, I heard it. It came out.

          Her eyes GLOWED, shined. Machiavellic stuff friends!! She was sooooo happy for my reaction. She started to push and push buttons and I was just yelling and yelling. I lost my mind in a second while I was not even mad.

          This all happened in the very exact same spot where I had an abortion 2 years before. Same spot in my room. Where I had my own baby hanging between my legs. Dead.

          Where I killed, I was killed.

          She left extremely happy with her recording and I woke up a month later wondering where I went during that month. I disappeared. Don’t have any memory or nothing.

          3 months later I went to a silence and meditation course. It was hell, hell, hell. HELL. A lot of hate came out. For 9 hours daily!! During one meditation I went to a previous life where she stabbed me in India to rob me. The exact same way she attacked me on this lifetime. Everything was exactly the same we knew we had been killing the other life after life… And while I had all the opportunities to break that karma during that day, I didn’t. Because fear showed up, because it was the most scary situation I’ve witnessed and been on. It’s been a whole year now and I’m still in dark night of the soul (my 3rd one). My soul went to the underworld and has been crying almost daily, from the soul, not even from the heart.

          She’s now asking me to come back together what do I doooooo???!!!!! Everyone says no-no, the same will happen… they say that I would just learn more lessons but I don’t want to learn more lessons like that, just from love! I just need to get rid of our karma and don’t know how to proceed 🙁 I don’t want to come back and my karma was getting extremely clean back then, I think that was my last test 🙁 I saw her a couple of months and drained me completely. She uses my energy to feed her ego and feel powerful.

          We talked about this last night for 3 hours and she couldn’t even apologize. She says that she wants to heal next to me, that what’s what she came here for… but after doing a lot of healing on my own honestly I know I deserve someone better, someone mature, someone healed.

          The image chases me day after day after day after day. I’ve created daily karma for 366 days

  3. Honestly I had a guy completely break my heart in highschool. I understood that what I had experienced was karma became I had met a guy while I was dating someone else and I fell after the first date with this other guy. I actually dated the guy while summer was going on and then when school came around I told the other guy I didn’t want to date him anymore and he was so angry with me. I had ended up going out with the other guy because I wanted attention from my guy at the time but he was going off everywhere else, not willing to spend time with me. Anyway the other guy spent alot of time with me. Just as I was realizing my feelings for him he broke up with me. I cried and cried and cried because I felt like he and I really did complement each other and I was starting to believe that he and I would end up married to one another. When he broke my heart it took years for me to get over it. I fantasized about what he may have felt during that time I really felt like he broke up with me because his friends didn’t approve of me dating him. I felt like his mother also didn’t approve. Well fast forward years later he contacts me on Facebook. I’m trying to not have a heart attack over it because I had spent so much time nursing my own pain. The truth was since him I had not been able to love anyone else the way I loved him. I loved him in a way that just hit the deepest areas of my heart. The love was truly real. So anyway I found out he was nursing a broken heart to. He was still too deep in it though and truthfully it hurt my heart remembering my pain from when he did it to me. I didn’t talk to him after that for a while. Then six months ago he asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I said no maybe a different time. Well a different time came. Sometime in May we got in contact with one another. We have been dating ever since then so almost a month. The way we interact with each other is obvious we really care about one another but I have been dealing with how I feel about him and how I need to let go of the past. I feel like we will be together for a while. I’m not sure how long but I know it will be longer than last time. I feel like this is actually healing the hurt that occurred the last time and I am grateful for another chance to date him. I also understand that sometimes people Break up because it’s just not their time. I feel like I had a lot of growing and maturing to go through over the years and honestly I’m glad we were not together in our younger years. I’m not sure how it would have went but I wouldn’t have the understanding that I do now concerning love. I also know that if he chose to go his own way tomorrow it would hurt me because I genuinely do love him but i would allow it because I would rather him be Happy with someone else than not be Happy with me. I also know that I fight the feeling of anger and jealousy over the fact that he was able to love someone else the way I loved him. I remember when I first saw pictures of them together I was angry because to me he didn’t look happy and they just didn’t look good together. I remember when we were younger people always said we looked good together. Now I don’t really know what to expect.

    1. Thanks so much for sharing your story… It’s really touching. It sounds like you have a karmic relationship with your boyfriend and you are definitely learning from each other about love. That’s a good thing. In terms of how you look together, well, I won’t say that’s irrelevant because it can actually be a clue about how well you fit with each other. And what you said about letting him be Happy no matter whether it’s with you or someone else… that’s incredible and shows your maturity. The best way to not let your heart get broken again is to not to have expectations. Be grateful for each new day you have together as a couple and take it day by day. All the best!

  4. yea my ex cold heartedly cheated on me twice n both times left me for different men. she treated me so bad. all i ever wanted was our love but she always pushed me away. n rejected me. im guessing she just wanted experience but is too much of a coward. we also had a family together. n children. i know i have to leave it be. but having a broken heart twice either will cause health issues or make me stronger.

    1. You’re so right that if you don’t let it go, it will cause health issues or make you stronger. Karma will get her, don’t worry. And as you get stronger, you’ll realize that your positive karma helped you too.

  5. I was in a relationship with a man, he broke up with me and got married to a girl richher than me. After 2 years of marriage, he contacted me again and said he was sorry for what he did with me. I always loved him truly, so i forgive him and started talking to him on a better note. But again he dumped me even in friendship..and now i am all lost…that how come a same person hurt me twice…he is all happy and i am the one suffering..it seems there is no karma at all.

    1. Hi Dear, sorry for my late reply. The only reason I can think of for why you had to suffer twice is because you didn’t see his true colours the first time around. From the kindness of your heart, you forgot the pain he put you through the first time and gave him an opportunity to hurt you again. He will get his karma, don’t worry. But one thing that you can immediately do is reflect on how he hurt you and how you let him into your life again to hurt you again. Then promise to yourself that you’ll never allow someone to treat you that way ever again. As soon as you wholeheartedly do this, you’ll feel the weight come off your heart and you’ll see karma in action.

  6. i loved one of my childhood friend since i was 10 who used to live in the same building and then aafter 2-3 months of relationship we brokeup nd we got shifted to some other colony in.i loved him a lot and i used to cry and cry for him and felt heartbroken .After 6 years he we came in contact through fb while i was already in a relationship with some other guy. nd then he asked me whether i have a bf nd i told him the truth and also that i m over him , this broke his heart but still he kept talkin to me nd then one fine day i broke up with my boyfriend becuz of some reason . and it was my board exam time i was so devastated nd i started to miss my bf . Bt my childhood ex motivated me to focus nd proposed me saying that he loves me a lot. bt i denied as i didnt hv feelings for me n i love my ex nd still he asked me no. of times nd i said give me some time … and after 6-7 months we got out of contact as i said him not contact him and that time he cursed me that you wl die for true love …nd someday i wl love start to love him but he won’t be there … nd after 1 year of all this i genuinely started to feel him bd i asked him bt he ignored me. nd nowi m dying.

  7. I know karma works very strongly as I have experienced it. But It is so difficult, painful to experience it yourself. My past is haunting me so much. I was very naive and innocent and didn’t know anything bout relationship and stuff. A lot of unfortunate events happened in my life and after dealing with so much of pain I got attracted towards a guy, started talking to him in college then he fell for me. He proposed me after a while and I told him I don’t want to be in a relationship I just like you and wanted to be just friends. Nothing else. Maybe I needed someone as a good friend in my life at that moment. During vacation he requested me again and again and almost everyday to please just try once and say Yes. I’ll keep you happy and so on. I don’t know why when I came back to college I said Okay. Yes. As soon as the relationship started he started sending me love messages and stuff like that. Instead of feeling happy and loved I started feeling awkward. I just couldn’t make myself feel in love with him. We never met in college like a boyfriend/Girlfriend but once pr twice we came face to face. We used to see each other from afar daily. This whole process of meeting him, liking him, and relationship stuff went for about 5 months and then I broke up with him saying that I am not in love with you and I just can’t do it. Also he was demanding more time from me to talk on cellphone because he was my senior and was not in the college now. I was not myself anymore so I decided to breakup. He got hurt. I know. After a while I met this guy in college, same year student as me who approached me and asked for friendship. I got attracted towards him and we started our friendship. Very strong friendship. We used to meet daily in the evening We watched movies together, had hundreds of evening walks, talked a lot daily, had dinners together, used to share our problems and everything. I fell for him. He was very chivalrous and nice to me. He started acting as if he was in love with me. He used to talk to me after meeting on phone too, whole night. He used to say love you to me. He did everything a boyfriend would do. This went for about 4 months, then we went out of the campus, he became intimate with me although he wanted to have sex with me but I refused at the last moment because I just didn’t feel it was right. After that night he started ignoring me. No calls, no meetings. He used to pick up sometimes for a few seconds and said he was busy. It struck me so hard that slowly I fell into depression. I couldn’t sleep for nights and for months and I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t focus on anything. Pain in my heart was so deep noone was able to cure me. I couldn’t share it with my friends, noone. I made several efforts for 4-5 months to get out of depression. He met me one or two time at the end of college time and acted as if nothing happened. After college he was very busy but used to call me to just say hi hello, do all the dirty talking and then bye take care I am busy. I was just not that kind of person who would do this. I was suffocating. I couldn’t sleep at nights. I was in so much pain I thought I won’t survive. I started having frequent thoughts to give up on life not because of him but to end up the pain and suffering i was going through. So eventually after another 3-4 months I wrote a message where I wrote I can’t continue this shit and I am a nobody to you. This is not going anywhere and Who am I to you? I don’t remember the rest of the message it was one long one. But before he could reply I blocked him from all social media platforms and phone. He had my landline number though, but.. He never called back. Maybe he tried to reach my cellphone but he never trued hard enough. He was never that into me. I just got my answer that he made me fall in love and he wasn’t in live with me although he pretended good enough. I shifted to a new place started fresh. After two months I called him when I got to know his grandmother died confronted him but to my surprise he blamed me for everything. He said I never gave you hopes and I never said I’ll give commitment. We were just good friends and all that shit that he said continued. I talked to him for an hour or two. He was not guilty at all. I didn’t call him back ever but I couldn’t ever tell him that you are a jerk and a very bad person and I hope karma hits you bad enough to make you realise what you did to me was so bad. Your actions never matched your words and you just moved on like a pro. As if I am and was a nobody to you. He said once when he was drunk that I can’t live without you never leave me and next day nothing. He was so confused or maybe I was dumb enough to let him hurt me so much. He was clever enough to get what he wanted. Just a fling for a while for fun! I tried moving on and Met someone after a while who I am happily in relation with. But the thing is: That college guy I was in love with, I see him in my dreams sometimes and it haunts me. I am happy in my life but my past is haunting me. I wake up with nightmares and in dreams I am confronting him anf all the people that hurt me in life. I don’t want to think of this person but somehow i think it’s all related to that senior guy whom heart I broke unintentionally. It’s karma working. That senior guy trued to reach me for almost two years but i ignored so that I don’t hurt him again. So that he could move on because he wanted to be my friemd and I know that could never happen. But the question I can’t get an answer to is: When will my karma stop haunting me? When will this suffering end? It’s been 3 years now and still it’s happening? Why me? Why? I never hurted anyone intentionally. Why? And how ling will it continue? I am tired of this suffering.

  8. I know karma works very strongly as I have experienced it. But It is so difficult, painful to experience it yourself. My past is haunting me so much. I was very naive and innocent and didn’t know anything bout relationship and stuff. A lot of unfortunate events happened in my life and after dealing with so much of pain I got attracted towards a guy, started talking to him in college then he fell for me. He proposed me after a while and I told him I don’t want to be in a relationship I just like you and wanted to be just friends. Nothing else. Maybe I needed someone as a good friend in my life at that moment. During vacation he requested me again and again and almost everyday to please just try once and say Yes. I’ll keep you happy and so on. I don’t know why when I came back to college I said Okay. Yes. As soon as the relationship started he started sending me love messages and stuff like that. Instead of feeling happy and loved I started feeling awkward. I just couldn’t make myself feel in love with him. We never met in college like a boyfriend/Girlfriend but once pr twice we came face to face. We used to see each other from afar daily. This whole process of meeting him, liking him, and relationship stuff went for about 5 months and then I broke up with him saying that I am not in love with you and I just can’t do it. Also he was demanding more time from me to talk on cellphone because he was my senior and was not in the college now. I was not myself anymore so I decided to breakup. He got hurt. I know. After a while I met this guy in college, same year student as me who approached me and asked for friendship. I got attracted towards him and we started our friendship. Very strong friendship. We used to meet daily in the evening We watched movies together, had hundreds of evening walks, talked a lot daily, had dinners together, used to share our problems and everything. I fell for him. He was very chivalrous and nice to me. He started acting as if he was in love with me. He used to talk to me after meeting on phone too, whole night. He used to say love you to me. He did everything a boyfriend would do. This went for about 4 months, then we went out of the campus, he became intimate with me although he wanted to have sex with me but I refused at the last moment because I just didn’t feel it was right. After that night he started ignoring me. No calls, no meetings. He used to pick up sometimes for a few seconds and said he was busy. It struck me so hard that slowly I fell into depression. I couldn’t sleep for nights and for months and I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t focus on anything. Pain in my heart was so deep noone was able to cure me. I couldn’t share it with my friends, noone. I made several efforts for 4-5 months to get out of depression. He met me one or two time at the end of college time and acted as if nothing happened. After college he was very busy but used to call me to just say hi hello, do all the dirty talking and then bye take care I am busy. I was just not that kind of person who would do this. I was suffocating. I couldn’t sleep at nights. I was in so much pain I thought I won’t survive. I started having frequent thoughts to give up on life not because of him but to end up the pain and suffering i was going through. So eventually after another 3-4 months I wrote a message where I wrote I can’t continue this shit and I am a nobody to you. This is not going anywhere and Who am I to you? I don’t remember the rest of the message it was one long one. But before he could reply I blocked him from all social media platforms and phone. He had my landline number though, but.. He never called back. Maybe he tried to reach my cellphone but he never trued hard enough. He was never that into me. I just got my answer that he made me fall in love and he wasn’t in live with me although he pretended good enough. He was such a nice guy a perfect guy so how can he do this to any girl and not regret it? Why me? I never got that answer and then I shifted to a new place started fresh. After two months I called him when I got to know his grandmother died confronted him but to my surprise he blamed me for everything. He said I never gave you hopes and I never said I’ll give commitment. We were just good friends and all that shit that he said continued. I talked to him for an hour or two. He was not guilty at all. I didn’t call him back ever but I couldn’t ever tell him that you are a jerk and a very bad person and I hope karma hits you bad enough to make you realise what you did to me was so bad. Your actions never matched your words and you just moved on like a pro. As if I am and was a nobody to you. He said once when he was drunk that I can’t live without you never leave me and next day nothing. He was so confused or maybe I was dumb enough to let him hurt me so much. He was clever enough to get what he wanted. Just a fling for a while for fun! I tried moving on and Met someone after a while who I am happily in relation with. But the thing is: That college guy I was in love with, I see him in my dreams sometimes and it haunts me. I am happy in my life but my past is haunting me. I wake up with nightmares and in dreams I am confronting him anf all the people that hurt me in life. I don’t want to think of this person but somehow i think it’s all related to that senior guy whom heart I broke unintentionally. It’s karma working. That senior guy trued to reach me for almost two years but i ignored so that I don’t hurt him again. So that he could move on because he wanted to be my friemd and I know that could never happen. But the question I can’t get an answer to is: When will my karma stop haunting me? When will this suffering end? It’s been 3 years now and still it’s happening? Why me? Why? I never hurted anyone intentionally. Why? And how long will it continue? I am tired of this suffering.

    1. Hi Dear, thanks for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you’re suffering. The quickest way out of this is by asking for forgiveness. As I mentioned in the blog post, there are two ways to do this:
      1. Asking in person or contacting the person to ask for forgiveness
      2. Asking for forgiveness in your heart, but really truly feeling sorry about it first so you mean it
      Try it. I am convinced it will work right away. You just have to be open to see the signs that it’s working.

  9. I feel like it would be worse karma to string someone along in a relationship, but I am struggling to see which is worse. Do I continue to be with someone I just don’t like anymore (through no fault of their own – a stereotypical it’s not you, it’s me scenario) just so I don’t break their heart? Which karma would be worse.

    1. That’s a really good question. It would be worse to string him along. Speaking from experience, when you are not honest with yourself and stay in a not-so-perfect relationship just to be nice and to not break someone’s heart, you somehow end up hurting them more. You pick fights, you nitpick, you criticize them to their face or behind their back, or you end up cheating on them, just to name a few. In the end, you’re creating more karma for yourself by not being honest with yourself and with your partner.

  10. Hi, I’m a 39 yr old married guy with a 5yr old kid. Reasonably happy with a love marriage of 10yr. Minor issues that smtime take bigger proportion but that’s it. 2 yr bk an ofc fling started as a physical attraction but then we came very very close fulfilling eachother emotionally n spiritually also. I can say it’s the best relationship I hv ever seen or been. We decided we should try n take it to the next level, I asked for 2 yr but then within a yr, we realised it’s not going to happen as it is practically very difficult looking at our social setup plus it will break more hearts and cause pain to many and a child is also involved. So, recently we parted ways peacefully, even though both of us have huge longing for eachother and in future we still want to remain as friends, best friends! But for now she wants to not be in touch so as to move on. I also had to agreed to this. I am in huge emotional mess now where I feel bad for cheating two women and even today I can’t really decide which one to hold on to. I am guilty of putting her thru this even though she is not accusing me plus I’m guilty of cheating an unsuspecting wife who has no clue what have I been doing for the past years. I am at a very low point but it’s my self created mess. And now I’m scared how much bad karma I have earned and how it will come back and haunt me some day soon. Pls advise if I can do anything to decrease this suffering. Thanks

    1. Dear Akshat, thanks for your honesty here in admitting that you think you did something that is creating a lot of karma. You can relax a bit thinking that all of our actions create karma, whether good or bad, so yes, even though you created karma, don’t worry. I know that you are suffering right now, and that it’s painful, but the best thing to ease your suffering is 1) to let go of the woman you had an affair with, 2) forgive yourself and trust in your innocence, and 3) in your heart ask your wife for forgiveness and to humble yourself and serve her as a loving and caring partner. If you start taking care of your wife and start treating her like the number one most important thing in your relationship, like I mentioned in this post: https://thelifester.com/coronavirus-marriage-relationships-and-karma/ then I guarantee that you’ll feel lighter. I hope this helps and I wish you well.

  11. I am completely broken by a girl…bcoz she left me for other guy…
    11 months before she left me for that guy…I was in tru love with her.
    I gave my one hundred percent.but she left me.snd in 11 months I only think only one thing is that …I gave my Everything in that relation…
    Would she realize this thing in her life that I was true and she was wrong..
    First time I made gf in my life and she completely broked me…
    Can you plz help me out from this thing.

    1. Dear Jayendra, I’m so sorry that you are feeling so hurt by her. The easiest way to get over someone is to get close to someone else. Another option is to distract yourself with a hobby. In terms of her karma, you can think of it this way… Someone will break her heart in the exact same way that she broke yours. That’s just how karma works. She’ll feel the pain. She’ll feel the confusion. And she’ll feel the frustration. I don’t know if that makes you feel better or not. I hope so!

  12. Yes, my first love I broke up with him(6 months relationship but still felt like my true love) like 5 years ago(he cried on Skype), now I got dumped( went no contact on him immediately) and I want nothing but revenge and I cannot wait for karma to hit him etc…

    Also his best girl friend said I was a temporary girlfriend, so I made sure I destroyed her FB pics by commenting she was a whore etc(LOL). I knew it was bad karma, really I did, but my anger had to come out because of her I broke up with him. etc.

    Oh well.

    So.. I understand.. but…. its doneeeee and I hate my dumper bahaha

  13. Wow this post makes 100% sense ex broke up with me Bc he said we weren’t a good match out of no where he started talking to someone same day of break up I thought would be not his type but apparently not ironically the girl shares the same name as my best friend who is secretly in love with me (talk about karma) long story short my ex was an athlete broke up with me day he signed contract for his next match said we weren’t a good match (ohh it stung) then karma comes and breaks his foot and now he doesn’t have a match at all oh karma ….. he obv couldn’t give up his player ways but boy oh boy did karma come and now with this social distancing looks like he won’t be able to get any more tricks from up his sleeve to come out and play ! we talked about marriage and kids like it was going to happen so being alone in this time I’m sure is difficult especially not being from this country and career in sports which is now completely cancelled. And I’m sure the foot injury ,pulling out from the match ,losing 100k+ hurt as much as my heart !

  14. I am feeling the burden of being in a relationship with someone no longer love.so end that relationship but without respect.so I have experienced karma very badly.next person I met was not disciplined.so I wanted to end the relationship.both relationship I talked via messages only.this person want to marry me.but I have no feelings for him.I have rejected second person in my life.I have broken his heart because people in our society will think “i am bad”. I am scared of bad karma .will karma happens again to me?

    1. yes, there is Karma involved in your situation but if you didn’t genuinely have feelings for these people then you were in fact HONEST with YOURSELF by rejecting them. So your Karma is minimal. Just because someone likes you doesn’t mean you have to like them back. No matter what society tells you.

      I hope this helps

  15. Hi Ritu,
    I am Anitha here I found your article is very meaningful I have few questions please do address them when you get to see my comment. my first relationship with one guy was just lasted for 7-8 months I was not that much into him, but my age at that time and attraction was the reason to get into this relationship soon after some days when one of my friend approached me he does not know about my relationship status I did not informed him also. I found I had same attraction towards him so I broke up with this first Guy telling I am not interested in you though it was just 8 months relations he was very serious about me and begged me to stay but I said sorry, wished him good and asked him to not contact me and ended all the contacts in all social media sites.

    Coming to my first relationship it was all good for first 2 months later I found he started avoiding I confronted him he told he is depressed need time since had commitments and work pressure I gave him time then after 3 months again we got back and starting good relationship for 2 months later again he started avoiding me as before he again told he need time its too early for us since we were just 21-22 yr old so he broke up with me for first time telling he have commitments does not have any feelings on me I begged him, pleaded nothing worked later I said to stay in contact might in future we will together he agreed and when he moved to another company he found his work pressure reduced and got good job on this birth day again we got together for some 6 months we were good and more than him I was very much into him and was loving him unconditionally even though he is not that good looking i was very loyal and true later in one silly argument he said he can’t tolerate me and breaking up with me and broke up again I asked to be in contact as friend later within one week of our break up he blocked me in everything when I asked him he said he is into new relationship with some other girl and gonna get engaged in few months so his girl does not wanted to me to be in touch I cried asked him I cannot leave without him but he said his love faded on me.

    The question here is even though I loved this second guy for one half year very truly and unconditionally, helped him in his difficulty times got intimated twice but he cheated on me very badly he abused me telling I was an option to him he got better girl than me in everything so he moved on, will this second guy face his KARMA for cheating on me or karma just sent him in my life t o pay back for my past karma for cheating on that first guy ???

    will Karma applies for this 2nd guy ?

    NOTE: while breaking up with this 1st guy I did not knew all this will happen and did not abused him like my 2nd ex did I Just wished him good said sorry and prayed for him to get good girl. even then I faced karma very badly for this and experienced his pain now I Asked sorry to him as well by heart as well by contacting his friend.

    But this second guy is very much happy with his new girl i am not jelous about them, But felt bad that he does not even wish me good he just now my life is perfect you see your life I am not bothered about your depression and he did not even think about the times when I was there by his side when he needed any help so selfishly without having 1% guilt also he is having fun there but I am suffering suffering keep on suffering from depression.

    Have I paid back my past karma ?

    will same karma happen to my 2nd ex who cheated on me and leading good life without 1% guilt in him or he just came to teach me lesson ? please do address all my questions.

    Waiting for your response.

    Thanks for the good article.

    Regards
    Anita

    1. Dear Anita,
      Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story. Yes, it sounds like your heartbreak from your second ex is slightly connected to how you broke up with your 1st ex. BUT remember that it is not your fault that you weren’t that into the 1st guy. So don’t beat yourself up for breaking his heart too much. You PRAYED for him, and that automatically erases much of your Karma.
      Regarding your 2nd ex, ask yourself why you love him so much. Would you recognize it if he didn’t return your feelings from the beginning? The reason he treated you like this and the Karmic consequences might be that he has already in HIS PAST been rejected and not loved back the same as he did to you. So now he’s going after another girl who matches his energy.
      I know you are suffering and it hurts so much. I’ve been there too. In this case practice PATIENCE. Just wait it out and this time when you pray, pray for YOURSELF that you heal your broken heart fast. As soon as your heart heals, the next guy will walk you into your life who matches YOUR ENERGY perfectly.

  16. Sorry there was spelling mistake in the second pharah

    Its “coming to my Second relation” not First type error

  17. Hi Ritu,
    I am Anitha here I found your article is very meaningful I have few questions please do address them when you get to see my comment. my first relationship with one guy was just lasted for 7-8 months I was not that much into him, but my age at that time and attraction was the reason to get into this relationship soon after some days when one of my friend approached me he does not know about my relationship status I did not informed him also. I found I had same attraction towards him so I broke up with this first Guy telling I am not interested in you though it was just 8 months relations he was very serious about me and begged me to stay but I said sorry, wished him good and asked him to not contact me and ended all the contacts in all social media sites.

    Coming to my second relationship it was all good for first 2 months later I found he started avoiding I confronted him he told he is depressed need time since had commitments and work pressure I gave him time then after 3 months again we got back and starting good relationship for 2 months later again he started avoiding me as before he again told he need time its too early for us since we were just 21-22 yr old so he broke up with me for first time telling he have commitments does not have any feelings on me I begged him, pleaded nothing worked later I said to stay in contact might in future we will together he agreed and when he moved to another company he found his work pressure reduced and got good job on this birth day again we got together for some 6 months we were good and more than him I was very much into him and was loving him unconditionally even though he is not that good looking i was very loyal and true later in one silly argument he said he can’t tolerate me and breaking up with me and broke up again I asked to be in contact as friend later within one week of our break up he blocked me in everything when I asked him he said he is into new relationship with some other girl and gonna get engaged in few months so his girl does not wanted to me to be in touch I cried asked him I cannot leave without him but he said his love faded on me.

    The question here is even though I loved this second guy for one half year very truly and unconditionally, helped him in his difficulty times got intimated twice but he cheated on me very badly he abused me telling I was an option to him he got better girl than me in everything so he moved on, will this second guy face his KARMA for cheating on me or karma just sent him in my life t o pay back for my past karma for cheating on that first guy ???

    will Karma applies for this 2nd guy ?

    NOTE: while breaking up with this 1st guy I did not knew all this will happen and did not abused him like my 2nd ex did I Just wished him good said sorry and prayed for him to get good girl. even then I faced karma very badly for this and experienced his pain now I Asked sorry to him as well by heart as well by contacting his friend.

    But this second guy is very much happy with his new girl i am not jelous about them, But felt bad that he does not even wish me good he just now my life is perfect you see your life I am not bothered about your depression and he did not even think about the times when I was there by his side when he needed any help so selfishly without having 1% guilt also he is having fun there but I am suffering suffering keep on suffering from depression.

    Have I paid back my past karma ?

    will same karma happen to my 2nd ex who cheated on me and leading good life without 1% guilt in him or he just came to teach me lesson ? please do address all my questions.

    Waiting for your response.

    Thanks for the good article.

    Regards
    Anita

    1. Dear Anita,
      Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story. Yes, it sounds like your heartbreak from your second ex is slightly connected to how you broke up with your 1st ex. BUT remember that it is not your fault that you weren’t that into the 1st guy. So don’t beat yourself up for breaking his heart too much. You PRAYED for him, and that automatically erases much of your Karma.
      Regarding your 2nd ex, ask yourself why you love him so much. Would you recognize it if he didn’t return your feelings from the beginning? The reason he treated you like this and the Karmic consequences might be that he has already in HIS PAST been rejected and not loved back the same as he did to you. So now he’s going after another girl who matches his energy.
      I know you are suffering and it hurts so much. I’ve been there too. In this case practice PATIENCE. Just wait it out and this time when you pray, pray for YOURSELF that you heal your broken heart fast. As soon as your heart heals, the next guy will walk you into your life who matches YOUR ENERGY perfectly.

      1. Hi Ritu,

        Thanks for the wonderful reply.

        I don’t know wheather my 2nd ex gonna experience same pain what I went through. but yes I need to move on he don’t like me that is true.

        Thanks
        Anitha

        1. Dear Anitha,
          I’m so glad this helped you somehow. All the best. And Put yourself FIRST. No one else will do it unless you do it first.

        2. i am in a 6 years relationship with my ex,i am ten years older than him but he doesnt mind it at all,i cared for him like a baby i giving him all what he needed personal things food etc…6 years just me and him i trusted him so much that i donr even check his social media accounts and even his phones not even confronted who he talking when were rogether because i lpve him and trully trust him i gave my 200% of love, trust and loyalty,then all of a sudden i felt a sudden change to him no more patient to me no more happines and sparks in his eyes everytimewere togethere, but i dont know that time he start courting other girl a co worker of this girl just tell me recentlly so while he still in a relatioship with me he start courting and liking and talking to this girl discretely without mu knowledge,the last one year of our relationship this happen,june 2019 he start with this girl then december 2019 when in in vacatiln to my country he even follow me to spend christmas in my home and i even get pregnant january 2020 but had the miscarried last march, then rest of the month i start checking his fb account and i see this girl liking his photo in fb so i confronted him he said nothing wrong then i start talking to girl girl co worker because i know this co worker in fb so she tells me all what happen between the two of them in the past months, i was so shock i cant believe he do that to me i dont have an slightest idea that he can do that to me, then as i start confronting him he keeps ontalking bad words to me and insulting me,what hurts me more is he keeps on telling me that im old and he wasted his life to me, that i am responsible of all his lost and misfurtune,????really? what i do?? all ido i to lpve him aerve him as a king with all my heart,do ideserve all that kind of insults? and a bad treatment? i dont have a bad memories in the past all was good that why im in total shock of all the bad words that come from him, he even block me in all his social media he even deleted all our photos in fb,now one month no mpre contact, i was so devastated that time i want to commit suicide, i cannot eat and sleep until now im still mending my broken life, its very hard to take all back the broken pieces and take back that life because i gave it all to him,mu family and freinds are hurting too they are in shock too and they cannot believe that he done this to me,all of them telling me that soon he will recieve his bad karma and more than pain he will fell for hurting me so bad,i hope soon his karma will serve him so that he can barely fell what he have done to me

          1. Dear, your story is heartbreaking. I can’t believe what he did to you and so heartlessly. To get you pregnant as well? That’s playing with an additional innocent life and there’s a bit Karmic consequence for that. He will certainly know the pain that he caused you from experience. It is only a matter of time. Just one question for you… When you met him, did you feel like you knew him before? Like in a past life? Because of the heaviness of the situation, it is likely that you are carrying on Karma from a past life and you owed him something and he owed you something. Did it ever feel like that with him?

  18. I don’t know what I feel aside from sadness feeling bad about myself. I ignored an ex’s attempt to contact me 3 years ago on email. I felt bad then letting her go. I left it off mysterious but in truth I wasn’t fully interested in her. Today I found the email then researched her name, and found she married someone and had a kid with the person, and he was a gem. First I was very proud and happy. Then, I saw some things that signaled I scarred her, for connecting with her, and not being fully interested to begin with. The last emotion was of course, that could have been me, having that kid with her, but then also reminding myself she picked a winner, and I’m much happier she found someone in my opinion amazing. So I feel a mix emotion of sadness pity towards myself, then feel bad also for scarring her. Said to self hell no don’t want to contact because she is happy, and I want that marriage to work out for her. I’m nothing but a distraction, and I’m still the same, not fully interested. I think it was good for me to see all I did , how not being there allowed her to meet someone truly into her. I feel guilty because there is a “signal” and I’m like omg that is me, don’t hold onto that. I stay a bit less detailed in this message. I would say it was bad karma, good for a wake up call, and helps me better understand myself, and meaning. I think I was very confused for a long time (in dating life in general), and this helps me discover what I wish I discovered about myself long ago, the meaning why, I need to know what my value is. Else it seems I’m just wasting a womans time. Till I clear that out.

    I’ll work on the meditation exercise tonight. Thank you for the article.

    1. Hi there, I love this comment because finally, someone said that their experience helps them to SEE THEMSELVES better. Most of us are confused when it comes to dating, you are not alone in that. And most of us make big mistakes. As long as we learn from it, every experience is a good experience. What stood out to me most is that you were honest with yourself and her by not messaging her back since you weren’t really into her that much. I wish more people were that honest. I hope you enjoyed the meditation. Thanks again for this comment. It made my day!

  19. Hello Ritu,

    I want to share you in short, my journey and bad relationship experiences.

    3 years ago, I had a relationship with a girl who is a Hindu. During my relationship with her somehow i didn’t noticed the kinda ”red flags” issues from her. After she broke up with me, it became all clear. It made sense, i was head over heels in love and that’s why I only saw the good things. I was unexperienced and she teached me a lot to not be naive and get more self-love/respect.

    During the relationship, she met a new guy and already texted him and started kinda dating with him behind my back. All the lies, the betrayal, Which is a NO GO! She broke up with me before christmas eve, and in the new year she got in a relationship with the other guy.

    She still seems to be happy with him since they are in a relationship 3 years ago.
    But she keeps checkin up on me, through her social media account/ or from her family ones.
    But every time she blocks me again, and once in a while she check up on me again!?

    I try to understand a few things, maybe you can give me explanation or answers on my questions.

    How can a person, especially someone who is hindu, not think about their consequences and action if they believe in karma/dharma?

    And why does my ex has this weird behavior? Why does she check up on me after 3 years, while she still with that other guy she dumped me for?

    Kindly regards,

    Wes

    1. Dear Wes, thanks for your comment and your question. To answer you right away, here’s what I think about her weird behaviour of checking on your and then blocking you because I did this too with an ex (which I’m a little embarrassed about now). Basically, she has guilt about what she did to you. She knows she took more than she gave and maybe used you because of convenience or because she needed someone to lean on. Or she feels guilty that her true feelings towards you changed so quickly. She checks in on you because she’s worried that you are still hurting and in pain and she feels guilty about it. Then she gets embarrassed about it and blocks you. That’s how I interpret the situation because of how I acted with my ex in the past.

      Regarding the fact that she is a Hindu but seems to be completely oblivious about Karma/Dharma, well, not all “religious” people are sincerely spiritual. My definition of a spiritual person is someone who is willing to look at themselves and examine their own actions before pointing a finger at someone else, no matter what religion they belong to. Her actions tell me that she’s not quite examining herself yet. I believe she will eventually get there, even if she’s 90 years old when it happens. When she finally takes the time to look at her actions and think about the consequences of her actions on other people and herself (whether now or in the future), then she’ll have a better and deeper understanding of Karma and honour her own Dharma.

  20. This post has almost destroyed me it’s A very horrible post which does not mention violence abuse trauma children once Iv stayed in my relationship but for the past year I fell out of love I did not mean it but I have destroyed my partner and tried everything I could to stay but being in the same room made me physics sick
    Reading this I’m terrified now to even move on
    Thanks

    1. Hi Michelle, the post is not intended to scare you but only to empower you to take your own destiny into your own hands. I hope you will find help to move out of your harmful situation.

  21. There was a guy who played with my feelings for around half a year while he was seeing someone else. It really broke my heart and hurt my feelings. I was depressed for months. Then he came back when I was moving on and played with my feelings again while he’s with someone. I got hurt again but not as much as before because I saw it coming. I wish him the best but I want him to know how it feels like.

  22. Hello. There are some chronic Heartbreakers that still have great relationships and still end up getting married and living happily ever after. I have experiences with such people. Some of them never even get heartbroken at all even after all the bad things they have done. Does that mean that karma doesn’t affect everyone?

    1. No, karma affects EVERYONE. These people pay in other ways like poor health, broken relationships and personality problems. Or unseen ways. But no one can hide from karma. That’s a law.

  23. i have ghosted this one girl that loves me alot, but i liked her again so i asked her for another chance and she said yeah and i ghosted her again and now i don’t think she can get over me what kind of karma is that

  24. I recently made a mistake and had an affair with my co-worker when my marriage fell apart. It was intense, passionate and what I thought was mutual. She said she was totally in love with me and I became emotionally attached. It turned out she was doing the same with another guy also. I contacted him to find out the whole truth. Next thing I get a restraining order, banning me from my work place. It broke my heart. Not that she was cheating on me also even though that hurt badly but because she tried to ruin my career when I had young children and a mortgage after claiming to be my best friend and soulmate literally 48hrs before turning on me fir contacting the other guy. 8 months later and 15k in legal fees and lost wages, Im still fighting for justice and my innocence. Is this my Karma for cheating on my wife at the end of my marriage? Is this wrong for me to pray for karma everyday for what this woman tried to do to hurt me??

    1. Hi Rob. No you are right to pray for Justice. This is only a small karmic consequence of what you did to your wife. This might be past life karma.

  25. Hi Ritu, I would like to share my past with you.
    I am from India.
    It took 2 yrs for me to say yes to a guy. but right after I accepting him, he changed his behaviour and he started taking me for granted most of the times. I was against to my family and friends as they did not accept him. After 2 yrs of secret relationship with him, he left me for another girl and lied to our mutual friends as if I dumped him and also bad mouthed about me. He broke up with me a week before my exam for which I left my job and been preparing since 2 yrs.I was all alone and felt suicidal most of the times even before the breakup.I used to share every detail thing with him as I was not in contact with my friends and not in good terms with my family and became extremely vulnerable.I begged him to stand by me but he refused.he shared our private matters with his male friends and they already knew that he would breakup with me in this year and gave me signals. but he acted as if nothing was wrong. When i was busy in my parents 25th anniversary celebrations he broke up with me saying that his father has not accepted our relation as we are from different castes. when I was happily focusing on my career He disturbed me with his proposal, after accepting him he played with my feelings for 2yrs then he turned his back when I decided to take this to next level i.e,marriage. I left with zero self esteem now and not able focus on my career. In depression for 6 months and still struggling with panic attacks during nights. I loved and most importantly trusted him so blindly that he would never leave me.I gave him unconditional love but i dint know that he came with conditions.

  26. Hi. I was in a relationship of 4 months. It was so beautiful. We got to spend time. One night this guy came to see me. He started of the conversation by saying, you are a lil bit weird with your text today? Whats wrong. Told him. Nothing just tired from wrong. Later on that night I walked in the house and message comes. I open the messages it was a photos of him marrying to someone else. That was so painful to watch. I keep on asking the guy but he lied to me. We ignored each other for a week or so then came down to see me as we are working together. He said sorry and this and that. Eventhough it is painful and feelings still there I have to accept the fact that he lied. But willing to accept him as a friend regardless of the pai written all over my face. He said to me sorry I know Karma will come back to me.

  27. I’m definitely feeling Karma but wondering if there’s more to come. I was separating from my husband and in the middle of it all I met someone. It was love at first sight. I mean I have never felt this way about anyone and I was married for 28 yrs. When I met this person it was magical. I couldn’t imagine anything ever happening to him. I would have been devastated. Unfortunately we both lived about 3 hrs apart. He’s much older than me and pretty set in his ways and seemingly unwilling to change much or meet me half way. The worst part about our timing was I was in the middle of my separation and the virus hit. Everything went into lockdown. I changed my career for him, my life and everything was in the air and moving so fast. When the virus hit I panicked I guess and took a pause. He took that as I didn’t want to leave and we started fighting. It wasn’t that at all. I just didn’t know where to go. With him unwilling to move and the type of work I do I would have been driving almost 6 hrs every day to and from work. Fast forward a few months he gave me an ultimatum and I jumped. I left everything. My home…everything. I moved in with him. I didn’t look back. I just walked out. I drove that drive everyday and I was exhausted. I modified my work schedule to try and work from home a little bit and compressed my days so I could get more days off which made my days longer. The days I was driving I was so tired and the roads were starting to get bad. Here’s my mistake. A couple of times, I moved my stuff back because I couldn’t do it, even though I was trying. He wasn’t hearing me. He’d talk me back, and when I moved back in…whenever I talked about finding something mid-way, he would just say it’s only for a little while. He’d get upset at me and tell me if I was thinking about going to leave before he got home. I would always panic and leave. I know I hurt him by leaving. I love him and I want to find away. I truly love him. I left the 23 of November…he was in a new relationship the beginning of December. It absolutely broke my heart. Is my Karma over or is there more to come? He says that I’m his one true love but can’t do it in this lifetime but will find me in the next. How cruel is that? He doesn’t want to see me or talk to me ever again. I’ll let him go but I’m heartbroken. I truly love this man. I really tried to find my way to him. I’m stupid for believing that he cared about me the way I cared about him. But my head can’t shake him.

  28. I turned 15 in jan 9 2021 i mean yesterday’s he got jealous tat I celebrate great with party and EVERYTHING!soo he wantonly reasiled his short flim teaser to hurt me !!I hope you will give a nice solution for my broken heart

  29. When my ex lied about little things, I was quickly angered. I didn’t think someone who truly was in love with me could bear lying to me so much. I said awful things to him as a result— so bitter, such distasteful things that I regret. Even though he was lying, I still regret the things I said because I knew deep down I didn’t mean them and it didn’t alleviate the pain I was feeling from being let down. I lied to myself when I mentioned other guys just to make him jealous, when really all I wanted was for him to see what anger and pain he was causing me by not being insincere fully deep down with me.

    1. Hi Amber, it’s natural to react this way. He hurt you and you wanted to hurt him back. Yes by saying mean things to him there’s a chance you created some karma for yourself, but the thing is that if what you were saying is not really true, then the only person who will suffer from saying those things as you, not really him. Yes you might damage him a little bit with your hurtful words, but you’re the one who’s gonna end up regretting, which is what’s happening. In this situation, you can internally say sorry to him for what you said, and at the same time that doesn’t mean you’re letting him off the hook for hurting you. Let karma deal with him. And you can be free.

      1. Hi Ritu,after so many surch on line I found u. Though I am struggling in life, I am sharing my life lesson experience with u and I need lot a guidance from you, it’s bit long, hope u will able to read it.
        In15years back I had a relationship with my first love, we both were happy, but I didn’t know that he was dating other girl too, and one day he broke relation with me saying I am too young for marriage right know, but actually he was doing time pass with me, it was heart broken bcoz I believe in shree Krishna, and from. My heart ny mind I put him as my husband but he left me, married with other giflrl. Which was he dating, it took 3 years to heal me, than I got married with other guy.. He was happily married to that girl. I was adjusting in my marriage life, still in my mind their was one question for him why did he ditched me? I couldn’t forget him. Everywhere he was in my mind..
        After 9years I got to know that his wife left him, with her baby girl, and flew to Dubai. And he was mentally shocked, drunk, financial balance was less, he lost his job. So I felt let’s help him to come out from his mess. So I spoke to his family first then him, so I will find the real truth behind his life. His mother was crying and seeking help from me, bcoz she knows I am the first girl for him. I helped him,spoke to. Him on phone, he knew I m married and had a boy too.then he seek forgiveneas from me, saild sorry thousands time, It was my faults to choose her, u r my first and last love, pls help ME, don’t leave me, I will not do that same mistake again, pls I will wait for you my whole life and all 7 janm. And that point I felt in his trapped ,he asked me u love me? Tell me truth, and I have soft corner for him so I said bcoz u seeking forgiveness many times and u said to me u will not do this mistake again yes I still love u. But I m married. So I can’t break his trust. And if u have patience for me and believe that we IL meet again but don’t know when, if u can wait then I am OK. His answer was yes. I will wait for you life long. Then we met, in his house, helped him to come out from drinking habits, financial help him. Help him to start new business for him. Everything.
        He got divorced from his wife. He took me to SHREE AMBAJI TEMPLE PUT SINDOOR ON MY MANG, HE TOOK ME TO HIS KULDEVI MA TEMPLE AND PUT SINDOOR TO ME, HAD KASAM OF SHIV GOD THAT HE WILL NOT MARRIY ANY ONE APART FROM ME, WAIT FOR ME LONG LIFE. as he knew I believe in MA SHREE AMBE SO hE USED MY belief of MA..and I got more trust on him. After that he bought a new house,new car, and then suddenly I felt some changes on him. Because now he has got work, house, and he wants to settle down now. He didn’t tell me that he wants to marry. But I can feel some time .
        And now since last 2 years he started slowly slowly ignored me, but I have true feelings for me so I ignored that things and try not to ask him or fight.
        Suddenly I got him on tik toke, other social site which I don’t have accounts but I caught him that he was flirting with other girls, I asked him what is this? He said bcoz my parents was asking to talk with girls, but don’t worry I was just showing to parents that I m trying to talk girls for marriage but I m not going to do Marry. Now after that he flirt other 2 girls too. And between that I had an ANXIETY ATTACKED twice. Because I felt guilty for my self, my husband, my son. I always asked forgiveness to God, my husband and son. Why i contacted him? I have to leave him on his own situation which he deserves.. I ruined my family life, spent 7years on him, even prayed to god that I will. Not having another baby because it’s cheating to everyone if I m. Loving to x, and having baby from husband.if he is committing to me and wait for me while life than I have to give it some things..

        Now just 5 days back he said I am going to marry on 4/2/2021 ,my mom is not well, and so it’s urgent marriage. But before 10days ago you said to me until not going to marry any lady because I loved u and can’t leave u. And now suddenly. What is this? I was bread down, nervous break down. He knew that I had anxiety problems because of this he even didn’t ask for my health ,Instead sending his wife mehndi video’s, photos, ceremony photos, to me.. And then I said to him please don’t send anything to me u leave me or Kill me. Then he stopped it.
        I know i got my KARAM back because I cheated my husband and son.
        But I have a big question what about him? He cheated me twice, played with my imotions, my beliefs on Ma,even took SWare of shiv bhagvan LING, PUT SINDOOR ON ME 5 TIMES..INFRONT OF God and MA..
        I WANT TO COME OUT FRIM THIS MESS I just prayed to God I don’t want to wake up. Please give me death and give my life to somebody whosnis deserving and need. Thank u for giving me life God.
        Where is his karama? Do Karma give punishment to him? Because in his marriage photos and videos he looks happy and enjoying his marriage. Now they r going for honymoon he told me on Valentine’s Day. He got big massive gift from his wife.
        Does. God exists? Where is MA AMBE? WHY DID AHE ALWED HIM TO USED ma’s pavitra place AMBAJI ?IF HE PUT sindoor to me then why did she let him married again and happyly.living. why? I got my karma., when did MA give /god give justice? Where and when will he got his bad karma? Will he get his karma?
        It’s not fare that only 1 person is getting punished not the other person..
        Please read threw it and reply me.. I don’t want to live.. Pls help me with

  30. Hi, first of all, it was a really good blog. I have been going through a situation, and I want to know how will karma work. I am bisexual and was dating this guy. We met online and instantly clicked. He even called me his soulmate. We are from different countries. He is from Switzerland, and I am from Canada. When we started talking, I was reluctant because I am an empath and get attached to people easily and make them my world. I had bad heartbreaks in the past, and it takes a lot of time for me to heal. So he started saying all these things like how lucky he is to have met me in 2021, he would text me day and night, he would not hang up my phone and keep it on even when we would go to work or school. He would compliment me so much and I finally developed a soft spot for him. He told me how his family doesn’t love him and how he never had a guy treat him with respect and care for him the way I did. So I got attached easily. I lost my father too when I was with him. But after two weeks, I started feeling like he was ignoring me and he started leaving my texts on read and delivered for hours, started lying a little bit, and started being very rude with me. I was there when he wanted to cry and was feeling alone. I spent hours on phone with him to assure him that he is beautiful and he deserves love. I made him feel comfortable and worthy. And he left me when I was already dealing with the loss of my father. The day I said I was feeling sad, he said he would call me but he never did and never asked me or helped me despite the fact that I was there for him on calls and made him my priority when he was going through anxiety. He said he’s not ready for a relationship with me, and I said I understand but you shouldn’t have played with my feelings then because it broke my heart the way you started treating me and changed overnight. He then said everything he said was real. So I was confused whether he meant all things and was just not ready for long-distance relationship. If this was the case, why was he so rude and disrespectful then. He could have simply said that instead of ignoring me. So I felt like he was just playing with my feelings from the beginning. I was shocked and was shattered and broken. I cried endlessly and still feel broken and used everyday. I was happy with my body shape and the way I looked. I never made him feel like he wasn’t my type becaus he was dealing with weight issues and insecurities. At the end, he said “I was just so much in the moment with you because you cared for him so much, and sometimes people need attention and you gave me that attention when I needed the most.” I was hurt so bad after hearing that. I felt like an object and a toy that he used for his attention and he didn’t even apologize for what he did to me. He said it’s the truth. I said I understand that. Thanks for letting me know. I wish you all the best. I didn’t tell him how badly he broke me and just chose to silently walk away. Then he sent me a text saying he wants to stay in contact with me because I am a very special guy unlike others. I cried alone, picked up my broken pieces, and stood up again. Still aches my heart to know how easily he get to walk away without realizing the impact that he had on my mental health. I made him feel good and he in return left me making me feel like I am not good enough. He used me until he needed attention and then left me wondering where I went wrong and there’s a problem with me. So just because I didn’t tell him how badly he broke me and wished him best, does that mean that I just forgave him indirectly and he’s not gonna realize that using people and their feelings for your own good is not acceptable. He left me with severe trust issues and I still don’t know what was going in his mind, if he meant what he said or if he was just using me for attention or was he just scared of the distance. But at the end of the day, I was broken and I cried my eyes out in pain and I still feel that ongoing ache. I would never be able to believe or trust someone now.

  31. Dear ritu, I regret breaking up with her, and I suffered a lot, I didn’t get in another relationship but I really hurt and can’t move on for 6 month,cause I feel guilty and finally I realized I loved her,now she is with someone else…… I break up with her because I’m afraid I can’t love her as much as she loves me, that time I’m not fully in love with her yet,and I got wrong advice cuz I asked my friends….. I regret letting her go, before I ended it she plead to me, but I’m still confused about my feelings and make wrong decision, It’s hard for me to move on and forgive myself, I don’t know how many times I wish to turn back time

    1. Dear Kedung, I know how hard it is to feel regret. It’s a horrible and heavy feeling. You’re right- you first need to forgive yourself. And think about her. Stress with someone new now and maybe this is better for everyone. Out of love for her maybe you can see it as a positive thing. And listen if she’s meant to be yours, she’ll be back in your life one day. Even if it’s years later.

  32. Honestly, this is something not always true. I had to let him go, but it was because I was not in love no more. I had to be honest to myself and to him. I truly beat myself up for it for awhile, but I realized it was for the best. Sometimes you have to make the most painful sacrifices. I never cheated on him and he even met someone more compatible.. so honestly, if we have to have “bad” karma because we had to let someone go, “break his heart”.. then life is not fair.

    1. Dear Cynthia, I also have a story that’s very similar to yours. I broke up with somebody, and very soon after they found someone much more compatible, and they were able to take the next step in their life with this new person. This particular situation I don’t think that karma will get me. I think I was with him in the first place because of our karmic history together. Because that relationship was not very easy on me, physically emotionally and spiritually. Maybe it’s the same in your case. Maybe you were together to burn off all the karma you had with each other. So by the time you ended it, there was nothing left. Now you both are free to move on with your lives.

      1. I will try as much as possible to keep my story short!

        I met this girl in 2009 during our 100level registration. Wow cute looking. She sat on a slab and I had to peak to get her name (which eventually wasn’t her real name). Anyways after months I approached her and we started talking. Am a muslim and she is a christain! We went home for ASUU strike and that was when I had to let her know my mind. She was young and super cute then and she had a boy friend that doesn’t care about her so after she dumped him I came in and it was beautiful beginning for both of us! We were in the same department and well I just didn’t care what people thought of like guy you try o…dating a girl from your department. Blah blah! She lost her virginity to me after dating for 3 years and yes we had our issues we fight but still find a way to always come back. I should have paid attention to that thought of hers about religion difference being a barrier cause that was the beginning of the end of our relationship..anyways I always managed to talk her out of it and all of that.

        Fast forward we graduated, and she told me she had a dream that we were posted to the same state that ends with OS! Well lo and behold when posting letter came out we were posted to the same state to serve (sokoto).. We were in the same platoon, same primary place of assignment. In short I was just convinced mehn God has hand in this till she started showing her real color..in nysc. her friend introduced to her to an airforce officer all cause she couldn’t come to the north cause she was serving in the east. She told me and I told her to be discreet about it she shouldn’t do anyhow and she promised me she won’t not knowing it was another begining of the end of our sweet love..my girl started falling for this guy even after I brought all food stuff kept it in her lodge cause she was the female CLO. I was so heartbroken and all of that I faught to get my girl back. All she kept saying was religion is a barrier I told her, your parents knows me and yes they do in fact am treated like a family already..well we kept on going though after nysc reality dawned on me I was at home for good 3 years before getting something doing while she was already into a teaching job in lagos then moved down to abeokuta now..she was supportive during all those while even though we fight and all of that.

        So then she did it again, she met another guy over there and started giving in for him and i knew something wasn’t right I asked her talked to her she wouldn’t tell me…she is the quiet type. i was literally going mental I summoned courage and traveled down to abeokuta to visit her. When she knew I was coming she insisted I shouldn’t.. her younger brother told me to go…on getting there she told me she wouldn’t see me and I agreed I just made up my mind I will hang out for 2 days and leave back to abuja..she came after her brother talked to her…she came to the hotel I lodged into and she told me after her work she would tell me everything..i wouldn’t want to go through her phone yes cause the following morning she cooked and I went to get the food from her and my battery was low so she suggested to give me her small phone..lo and behold I saw this number like more than 10 calls like they talked often…i was going crazy this is happening again….i didn’t collect the phone later that day she came to my hotel room and I asked her yet she couldn’t talk she was on her period so she went to the bathe room and I picked her phone and mailed her chat to my mail and the funny thing was she archived it…

        Mehn reading those texts was devastating…she said things to the guy about me she said has told me this and that and I don’t want to agree now blah blah..mehn I cried like a baby…i cried like a baby! You didn’t have the courage to tell me I had to find out myself babe..she didn’t feel remorse and all of that…i left ogun state on a Sunday to resume work on monday…we still did talk and all of that and I had to proved to her this guy has nothing for you cause a female friend of mine had to talk to the guy and this guy started playing along with her too and mehn…this is what I can never do to you bae …why do this to me this guy ain’t loving you at all…

        Fast forward things didn’t work out between them and I still got her back even knowing in my heart and asking myself I hope you are not digging your own grave guy…if this girl loves you and believe in you and your dream she wouldn’t be doing all of this…we are 10 years plus and this year I made the move to her parent of my intention..i want to marry their daughter..her mother that was my team started giving excuses of letting a pastor know this and that …my mum spoke with the family and her mum was like she will pray about it you know religion this and that….the thing is she told her parent we was gonna come around to meet them…so the covid19 palava happened….interstate movement banned…her parent are in the far north (maiduguri)..

        Sha to cut the long story short I am back to the same boat again….religion differences…after all.these years and moving on and taking huge step already, talked to your parents…wow! why don’t you just believe in me at all..she gave excuses that she is scared I might do this and that…and she will be selfish cause she wants her kids to be raised in a Christian home and one faith..her mum hasn’t even gotten back to us…each time my mum calls her she said she still waiting for the pastor to give her results and all….seeing all this, she has kept me in a situation whereby I just don’t know where to start from…2 weeks I haven’t been myself and asking myself this was all wrong in the first place…she never truly feel anything for me…cause she is adamant about the religion differences now…she can’t continue again and again she started dating another man too now..all my effort to speaking with her is fruitless..

        I mean she truly knew she doesn’t love even though she acts it but she didn’t truly let go not untill now. She treats me like a plague like am the villian …does karma catches up with girls like her ?

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